


Infinity

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-18
Updated: 2011-12-29
Packaged: 2018-10-20 20:30:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 28,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10670220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: There are infinity chances spread ahead of us, if we just would see.





	1. First Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

“Oi, Kota ! Where are you going ?”  
  
Yabu briskly turn around at the sound of his bestfriend calling.  
  
“I’ve got some emergency ! I’ll be back soon ! Ja ne~” He smiles, an without waiting for a reply, he takes off.  
  
“That person. He just left like that.” Hikaru sigh.  
  
“Ne, ne, Hikaru-kun~ When will we start ?” The joker can feel a tug on his sleeve and turn to see the squirrel pouting.  
  
“Soon. Wait with the others Chii~” Hikaru said simply. “And we’re about to start the practice too. Just you see Yabu ! You surely will get it from me !”  
  
************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Okay minna ! We’ll take a break now !” Hikaru shout at his bandmates who are all sighing in relief.  
  
“Yokatta ne~” Yuto close his eyes as he drops himself on the couch, gaining a yelp from Daiki who sat there first.  
  
“Anyway, where is Yama-chan ?” Keito ask aloud.  
  
“Now that you mention it, Yabu wasn’t returning as well.” Inoo add up while taking his water bottle and draining it up in a flash.  
  
“Well, those two surely will get it from me. Especially that Yabu !” Hikaru said menacingly. A dark aura surrounding him and somehow, the others shivered and make more distance between them and the angered boy.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
He sighs for the umpteenth time that day. He is surely at lost now. He doesn’t know how to tell them. It would be a very difficult task to do. But he knows that he has to do it.  
  
He sighs again. He had been taking his time. He needs to show up sooner or later. He stands up reluctantly and walk toward Jimusho. His mind still wandering and he just let his feet lead him to the place he knew so well.  
  
He can’t tell how far had he walked or how long had he walked like that. He didn’t even paying any attention toward things around him. Or more likely that he doesn’t care.  
  
Only when he heard the voice he knew so well frantically calling his name that he comes out of his trance.  
  
“YAMA-CHAN !!!”  
  
But a second later, when he realized what’s going on, he knows that he’s too late already. All he knows is that a flashing of lights, a speeding car coming his way, and a painful crash around his body. And his world blacked out.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Yabu is walking fast toward his destination. After a long time, his cousin is coming home. He had been in America for the past 3 years and Yabu missed him so much. They’re so close to each other and their separation is the hardest part of their lives.  
  
He’s humming happily as he walks. He’s about to cross the street but then halt as the light turns green and the cars are starting to move. It’s not that crowded, but he can’t take a risk now, can he ?  
  
He’s looking at nothing in particular. The laughing elementary kids beside him. A mother with her baby on her arms sleeping on his other side. An overly serious man at the other side of the road. A lost boy who hastily cross the street even though the cars are rushing…  
  
Wait a minute. That boy looked familiar. Yabu squinted his eyes and once he realizes who the boy is, he starts yelling.  
  
“YAMA-CHAN !!!”  
  
Without even thinking about himself, he rushes toward the boy and push him aside.  
  
“Hey ! Yama-chan !” He calls out to the seemingly dazed boy. But before he can get an answer, the boy fainted.  
  
“Shoot ! Help ! Somebody call an ambulance please ! Help !” He shouts for help. His previous mission forgotten. Now all in his head is that the younger boy for being okay. “Help !”  
  
“Relax boy ! I’ve called an ambulance and they’re on their way now. Anyway, by any chance, do you know this boy ?” The overly serious man he saw before is now kneeling beside him.  
  
“Un. He’s my friend. And thank you for calling.” Yabu bow slightly, his hands still wrapping around the younger boy protectively.  
  
“Don’t mind. Anyway, my name is Sugihara Takato. I’m a doctor myself. Let bring him to the side and I’ll help check him out.” The man lead Yabu inside a store where the owner had been kindly let them stay until the ambulance arrived.  
  
“Arigatou.” Yabu can only thank him as he watches the man tending on Ryosuke.  
  
“It’s my job.” Sugihara smile.  
  
After a few min, the doctor finally finished as he turns to the window with a frown. “The ambulance took too long.”  
  
“What happened Sugihara-san ?” Yabu ask him worriedly.  
  
Sugihara stay quiet for a while, as if contemplating whether he should tell the boy or not. “What’s your name ?”  
  
”Yabu, Kota desu.” Answered Yabu rather nervously.  
  
“Sou ka. You are that Yabu Kota from Hey! Say! JUMP ne ?”  
  
Yabu nod.  
  
“So I presumed that he is that Yamada Ryosuke ?”  
  
Yabu nod again.  
  
“Hmm. The only thing I can tell you right now, Yabu-san, that I’m not sure myself. We’ll just wait for the ambulance to come and know for sure.” Explained the doctor. “You may come.”  
  
“H-hai !”  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Yabu is currently sitting next to the bed where Ryosuke is lying right now. The words that Sugihara told him kept on repeating on his head.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
_“So how is he Sugihara-san ?” Yabu asked him as soon as the man came out from the ER he just entered with Ryosuke about 30 min ago._  
  
_“Have you called his parents ?” Sugihara asked him back instead._  
  
_Yabu shook his head. “I tried, but, no one’s picking up.”_  
  
_“Of course. They’re on a trip. No one will be home to answer the phone.” Sugihara sighed as he rubbed his temple._  
  
_“How did you- ?” Yabu frown._  
  
_“Please, follow me Yabu-san.” Sugihara motioned Yabu to followed him which he obliged. “Please, have a seat.”_  
  
_Yabu just nodded as he took a seat across the man who is leaning his back to his chair. He seemed to be thinking for the right words to say, and Yabu could only wait in silence._  
  
_“Ryosuke-kun is, our regular patient here.” Sugihara started._  
  
_Yabu frowned. “You mean like, for general checkup or such ?”_  
  
_“Something like that, but more specific than that. He is my patient.”_  
  
_Yabu frowned deeper. “What do you mean ?”_  
  
_“Do you have any idea of what kind of doctor is me ?” Sugihara smiled._  
  
_“Well...” Yabu trailed off._  
  
_“You can see in front of you, Yabu-san.” Sugihara pointed at the nameplate standing at the front of his desk._  
  
_‘Dr. Sugihara Takato, Cancer Specialist’_  
  
_Yabu frowned. Something was wrong here. He re-read the plate once again. ‘Dr. Sugihara Takato, Cancer Specia-‘_  
  
_“EH ?” He widened his eyes at the realization. “You are a cancer specialist ?”_  
  
_“I am.”_  
  
_“But then, if Yama-chan is your patient, and then he- ?”_  
  
_“Unfortunately, yes.” Sugihara said sourly. “Ryosuke-kun is currently fighting with his disease. A blood cancer called B-Cell Chronic Lymphocytic Leukimia or also known as CLL.”_  
  
_“What ?” Yabu could only stare at the man in front of him in disbelief._  
  
_“I shall give you a little explanation. This CLL disease is a kind of blood cancer where the DNA of the B-cell from the bone marrow is damaged so that it can’t produce antibodies. This is not so dangerous at it’s early stage so we don’t consider any treatment. Only when it reaches the point where it might affect the patient’s quality of life, we consider some treatments such as chemotherapy, or even a bone marrow transplant in advance treatment._  
  
_“I believe that you know most of the symptoms of cancer, and it’s almost the same with CLL. The main symptoms that are easily found is tiredness or weakness caused by the anemia resulted from this disease. As for the treatments, of course, there will be some side affects as well. Things like tendency to bleed easily, or nausea and vomiting issue, or fatigue caused by the cancer itself and by the chemotherapy as well, and such is possible. And not to forget, the possibility of losing hair. It is occasionally of course, but it will happen eventually._  
  
_“CLL actually rarely occurred on children and teenagers, as it commonly found in 50 years old and above men. But it’s not impossible. Ryosuke-kun here is an example. There are 2 types of CLL with difference in the patient’s lifespan. CLL that is positive for the marker ZAP-70 has an average survival of 5 years. And CLL that is negative for ZAP-70 has an average survival of more than 25 years. And tthere are even some patients with slowly-progressing disease which is reassured that need not any treatments at all.” Explained the doctor calmly._  
  
_Yabu gulped, feeling that he’s about to hear something not good at all. “So, what kind of CLL that Yama-chan has ?”_  
  
_“Unfortunately, his ZAP-70 marker is currently positive.” Sugihara looking at his hands gloomily. “Which is, counting from now on, he only have 5 more years to live.”_  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*


	2. Second Chance

Yabu sigh as he leans back on the chair he’s sitting. He casts a glance at the figure who is still sleeping peacefully in front of him.  
  
He had told Sugihara that he’ll be the one who will take care of Ryosuke, since his parents are currently on a trip. Sugihara told him that Ryosuke’s parents is aware by their son’s condition, but this emergency condition was only occurred this morning. And it was Ryosuke who had asked him not to tell his parents. He doesn’t want to make them all worried and rushed their business trip.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
 _“Ryosuke-kun wasn’t aware of this at first. He first came here with his friend Nakajima-kun because of his recent fatigues. At first we thought it was just a simple case of anemia. But as times goes on, and as he regularly came to do his checkups. It was later that we found out that his condition was far worse just a simple anemia. Ever since, he was becoming my patient.  
  
“It was just when he came this morning for his regular checkup, we just discovered that he’s reaching the stage where he needs to be treated, and that his ZAP-70 marker is positive. When we told him, he immediately asked us not to tell his parents. He said that he’ll just tell his older sister and his friends so that he still can be watched properly. I just agreed without any further questions since I believe that he’ll do as been told. He then excused himself saying that he still had practice. He then left. It was about at 9 this morning. I didn’t know he didn’t straightly go to your practice place. I was just finishing my shift about an hour ago and about to go home, and then the accident happen and here we are.” Sugihara once again leaned his back on the chair.  
  
“I… I will take care of him from now on !” Yabu exclaimed, determination shone from his eyes.  
  
Sugihara smiled. “I believe in you. Now, why don’t we checked on our little boy ?” He stood up and led Yabu to the room where Ryosuke is currently staying._  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
It’s the ringing of his phone which brought Yabu out of his thought. He fished into his pocket and answering the phone without seeing who the caller is.  
  
“Moshi-moshi ?”  
  
“Ko-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan~ Where are you ? I’ve been waiting for like what, 2 hours ?” Came the voice from the other side.  
  
“Ah~ Gomen Yuta ! I’ve got an emergency and I forgot to call you ! I’m really sorry, but, could you just ride home by yourself ? I really can’t go right now.” Yabu apologize to his forgotten cousin.  
  
“Oh. Wakatta. Take care yo~ And don’t feel guilty. I’m fine, really. Just do what you have to do right now. I’ll see you soon.” And the line went dead.  
  
Yabu sigh as he hungs up the phone. He silently thanked his cousin for understanding his position. What had happened had made him forget a lot of things. Now that he remembers, speaking about a phone…  
  
 _‘Kawari tsuzuke Love, Love, Love, Love’_  
  
At the sound of the ringing phone, Yabu immediately pick it up.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Oi ! Yabu ! Where the hell are you ?! Practice is about to start, again ! Whether you bring your ass here now or I’ll drag you along the road ?!” Hikaru shout at the other line as he picks it up.  
  
 _“Hikaru…”_ Came the desperate voice of his bestfriend.  
  
By the time his name called, his anger gone. It was replaced by worry. “Kota ? What’s wrong ?” He asks concernedly.  
  
 _“Hikaru…”_ A small sob can be heard. _“What am I supposed to do ? I…”  
_  
”Kota ! Calm down ! Breathe and tell me what’s going on ?” Hikaru demand a little bit impatiently.  
  
 _“I can’t. Not here, not like this.”_ He can hear that Yabu is practically sobbing right now. _“Can you, can you just meet me at Tokyo General Hospital ?”_  
  
Hikaru’s heart start to beat real fast right now. “Kota ? What happened ? Why are you at the hospital ?”  
  
 _“Not now please, Hikaru. Just come. I’ll wait for you at the front gate.”_ Came the desperate plea.  
  
Hikaru just sigh. There’s nothing much that he can do. “Fine. I’ll go as fast as I can. You wait there. Just, be fine.”  
  
 _“I will. And Hikaru ?”_  
  
“Yeah ?”  
  
 _“Please don’t tell the others. At least not yet.”_  
  
Hikaru smile. As if that smile can send his assurance toward the older boy. “Wakatta.”  
  
************************************************************************************************************  
  
Yabu is pacing back and forth in front of the huge build behind him. He feels restless. Leaving Ryosuke just for a second is hard, but he has to wait for Hikaru to come.  
  
“Kota !”  
  
Yabu quickly turn his head toward his caller.  
  
“Hikaru !” Yabu call back at the rushing figure.  
  
“What happened ?” Hikaru feels like a fool asking the same question over and over again.  
  
Yabu shake his head. “It’s bad. He’s bad.”  
  
“What ? Who are you talking about ?” Hikaru put both his hands on the older boy shoulders and try to calm him.  
  
“Just come.” Yabu lead them to where Ryosuke’s staying.  
  
Hikaru is walking anxiously behind Yabu. He’s feeling confused and worried. But he’ll just let the older boy spill it all his way. He’s not going to pry. He knows that Yabu is upset for something. Hikaru was brought out of his trance when the older boy suddenly stopped in front of him.  
  
“Hikaru, before you see anything, I just want to ask you that from now on, I will counting on you more. Cuz to be honest, I can’t do these all alone. I…” Yabu bit his lips in an attempt to suppress the tears that threatening to come.  
  
Hikaru’s face softened at the tone the older had used. He places a hand on Yabu’s shoulder and force him to look at his eyes which now shone with determination. “Look at me, Kota. Did I ever disappoint you ?”  
  
Yabu smile. “No. You never did. Arigatou.”  
  
Hikaru smile as well. “We’re friends. It’s just make sense if we helped each other.”  
  
“Yeah.” Yabu take a deep breath. “Anyway, let’s come in. But be quiet please. He’s sleeping.” And carefully, Yabu turn the knob of the door just on their right.  
  
At the first sight of the room, Hikaru frown. There’s nothing inside the room. _‘What was Kota so fussed about ?’_ But as he takes a second glance, only then he realizes the limp figure lying innocently at the only bed in the room. There’s nothing weird about that person actually. Except that he’s one of their bandmates, namely Yamada Ryo-  
  
“EH ?!” Hikaru immediately turn his head toward the older boy. “Kota ! What- ? Why Yama-chan- ?”  
  
“Shh !” Yabu hiss at the frantic boy. “I will explain. But please be quiet. He needs to rest.”  
  
Hikaru sigh. “Wakatta. I’ll be quiet.”  
  
“Good.” Yabu smile approvingly as he leads the two of them to sit at the couch on the corner.  
  
Once they both have settled down, Hikaru look at the older boy seriously. “Now, explain.”  
  
Yabu sigh as he stares at the sleeping boy. “I don’t know where to start, but I’ll try.”


	3. Third Chance

“Okay. We’re finished for today. We’ll meet again tomorrow morning, Otsukaresamadeshita !” Hikaru shout at the rest of JUMP members who are all replying him with similar answers before piling out toward the bathrooms or just to lay down.  
  
Hikaru glance around the room and see that not so many people left at the rehearsal room. Only him and Yabu who are still needed to talk about the upcoming concert concept. And there are also Daiki who is chatting with Ryosuke at the other side of the room. Probably because avoiding the crowded bathrooms.  
  
Ryosuke. The boy hadn’t showed any signs that he’s suffering. Sure his timeouts at practices become more often than before. But other than that, he looked just fine. When he knew that both him and Yabu knew about his condition, he just smiled bitterly and had asked them not to tell the others. In reason that he didn’t want to make the others worried.  
  
But after all, Hikaru was glad that the boy had at least trust the both of them to take care of him. Though he had refused to stayed at the hospital for a couple of days, he had agreed, albeit unwillingly, to stay at Yabu’s household so he can be watched properly. At least until his parents come back.  
  
Hikaru watch how Daiki wave and leave the chubby boy alone who was just waving back at the older boy. And he also watch as to how Ryosuke smile while rummaging inside his bag to find his bathing stuffs. But his simple staring turned into a frown as the boy halt on what he’s doing and that he decided to sit for a while while holding his head.  
  
“Yama-chan ?” That was what Hikaru about to said, but he was beaten by his bestfriend.  
  
The said boy turn his head toward the oldest boy. “Yes, Yabu-kun ?”  
  
“Are you okay ? You looked pale.” Yabu ask concernedly.  
  
Ryosuke sigh. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. You don’t have to be worried all the time. Sugihara-sensei told me that I’m still fine right now. I’m still able to do this kind of things. Beside, it’s not like I was pushing myself ne ?”  
  
“Well, I was just worried. If you’re feeling fine, it’s good then.” Yabu forced out a smile.  
  
“Un. Arigatou.” Ryosuke smile back as he finally takes his bathing stuffs and walk out the room.  
  
After the sight of the youngest boy disappeared, the remaining boys left sigh.  
  
“It’s hard ne ?” Hikaru voiced out.  
  
“Yeah.” Agreed Yabu.  
  
*************************************************************************************************************  
  
“What do you want for dinner ?” Yabu look to his side where the other boy is walking.  
  
Ryosuke just shrug. “Anything is fine.”  
  
“Well, I’ll just make risotto then. We don’t have too much left. I should go buy some groceries soon.” Yabu put both of his hands inside his pocket.  
  
“I’ll help you out !” Ryosuke volunteered excitedly.  
  
“No. You’ll just wait at home.” Yabu strictly forbid him.  
  
Ryosuke pout as he stop walking. “You’re being unfair.”  
  
“What ?” Yabu was taken aback by the sudden protest.  
  
“You’re being unfair. Ever since you knew about my condition, you treated me like a frail glass which can break even by the slightest touch. You always spared me at practices while you scolded the others to do better. You wouldn’t let me playing around anymore. You even asked Hikaru-kun to bought me some drinks when I said that I wanted to go to the konbini to buy one.” Ryosuke looking at his feet sadly.  
  
“Yama-chan, I…”  
  
“I’m just sick Yabu-kun. I’m not disable. I still can do things by my own. I don’t need to be pampered and pitied all the time. It just make me more frustrated. It was like emphasizing the fact that I’m going to die soon..” Beads of tears can be seen rolling down the boy’s cheek.  
  
Yabu can only bit his lips. He knows it was his fault, but he couldn’t help but being protective over the boy.  
  
“Yama-chan…” Yabu approach the boy and engulf him in an embrace. “I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t mean any of that. Really. I was just wanted to make sure that you’re okay.”  
  
Yabu know so well that his words were just a bunch of nonsense. But it calmed the boy by a bit anyway. And in the end, he had let the boy to tag along with him to buy some groceries. And a little strawberry-bribing as well. But as long as the boy is okay, then it’s fine for Yabu.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
 _“I feel like a woman.”_  
  
“You just realized it ?” Hikaru deadpanned at the exclamation.  
  
 _“Please, Hikaru !”_ Hikaru can almost imagining the pout on the older boy’s face.  
  
“Okay, okay ! So what brought this sudden realization ?” Hikaru ask him seriously.  
  
 _“Well, it was just that I think I showed too much concern toward Yama-chan. Now he was depressed. He felt like that I pitied him too much.”_  
  
Hikaru sigh. “You see, Kota, to tell you the truth, Yama-chan was right. Since we knew about him, you seemed like specializing him. You make him looked different with the others. And I know that it brought questions and jealousy over the other members, but the one who felt cornered the most, must be Yama-chan himself. On one side, he knows that you meant good for him, but on the other side, he must have been feeling awkward with the jealous stares the others gave him. And he couldn’t tell the others why you treated him differently even though he knew the reason. And it must be hard for him.” Explained Hikaru in a mature tone.  
  
 _“ *Sigh* Yappari. But again, I don’t know what else to do…”_  
  
“But it also showed him that you really care ne ?” Hikaru smile.  
  
 _“E-eh ?”_  
  
“If you don’t care about him, you’ll just let him do as he pleased and worsen his condition.” Hikaru smile more.  
  
 _“Hikaru…”_  
  
“Okay, let’s just make a deal.” Suggested the younger boy.  
  
 _“A deal ?”_  
  
“Un. You are the mother, and I’m the father, and Yama-chan is our son.” He said boldly.  
  
 _“Ha ?”_  
  
“You will care and forbid him do things because of you’re his mother, but with me as the father, then he won’t be restricted all the time.” Exclaimed the goofy boy. “Same with the opposite, when I’m being too lose, you’ll be there to hold him in line, deal ?”  
  
A long pause can be heard before a sigh produced. _“Fine.”_  
  
“Great !” Hikaru grin happily.  
  
 _“But Hikaru ?”_  
  
“Yeah ?”  
  
 _“Why am I the mother ?”_  
  
Hikaru sweatdropped. “Well, since you said that you felt like a woman ?”


	4. Fourth Chance

“Maybe they have something to keep and not to tell right now.” Daiki declare annoyedly at the accusing conversations the other boys had.  
  
“But Dai-chan~” Takaki whine.  
  
“Look, they always told us things we need to know okay ? Well, maybe Yabu wasn’t that open, but both Hikaru and Yamada are so blunt, they can’t even keep a secret for a minute. So if there’s something they hide right now, then it was something that we can’t know just yet. Let them be. They’ll tell us eventually.” Daiki said calmly as he puts his hands behind his head.  
  
“You’re probably right Dai-chan, but still…” Yuto look away outside the window.  
  
“You’re just jealous Yuto.” Daiki deadpanned.  
  
“What ? I’m not !” Yuto quickly try to hide his reddening cheeks.  
  
“Yes you are.” Daiki countered. “Yamada used to tell you everything. When he was hyper or depressed. When he was happy or sick. He told you everything, everywhere, everywhen. And now he’s a grown up boy, he changed, and so do you. And you just can’t accept the fact that you’re no longer his secrets-listener.”  
  
Everyone was left quiet after that.  
  
“Just because they now have something for themselves, doesn’t mean that we start accusing. Because we, ourselves, have something just for us as well.” Daiki fiished his lectures with a bitter smile.  
  
“But still !” Chinen exclaiming. “It wasn’t fair when Yabu-kun and Hikaru-kun specializing and spoiling Yama-chan !”  
  
“Didn’t you always being spoiled too, Chinen ? Jealous that your role were taken ?” Daiki said coldly. “You know what, I’m giving up in making you understand. Not that it was my problem.”  
  
And with that, Daiki left the room.  
  
********************************************************************************************************  
  
“Did you packed your bento ?”  
  
A nod.  
  
“What about your medicines ?”  
  
Another nod.  
  
“Here, let me fix your jacket.”  
  
The younger boy just let the other do that.  
  
Yabu frown at the passiveness of the younger boy.  
  
“Yama-chan, are you okay ? Are you feeling not well or something ?” He puts his hand on Ryosuke’s forehead to feel his temperature. “Hm, you do have a light fever. Do you want to just stay at home ?”  
  
Ryosuke shake his head. “I’m fine. Beside, if I stay home, there would be no one to watch over me.”  
  
Yabu smile. He’s glad that the younger boy had start to trust them in these kind of things.  
  
“I see. Then shall we go ? I’ve prepared the car.”  
  
Ryosuke reply him with a small nod.  
  
********************************************************************************************************  
  
“Nee, Yabu-kun.” Ryosuke started as the car just been parked at the Jimusho.  
  
“Hai ?” Yabu turn to look at the boy at the passenger seat.  
  
“Should I quit ?” The younger boy ask in a small voice.  
  
“Eh ?” Yabu can only stare at him in confusion.  
  
“I mean, I had gone worse each and everyday. It won’t be long until I won’t be able to even walk properly anymore, let alone dancing, so before it had gone that far, maybe I should just quit.” Ryosuke looking outside the window with a sad look.  
  
Yabu, of course, being a mother he is, was actually glad that Ryosuke decided on that. Since it will help the boy to have more time to rest. But again, this is the Yamada Ryosuke he is talking about. The stubborn hard-worker Yama-chan. Which the word ‘giving-up’ is not inside his dictionary.  
  
“Is there something troubling you ?” Yabu sigh as he asks that.  
  
Ryosuke seemed like he hesitated before answering, “Nothing.”  
  
Yabu sigh again. “Look, Yama-chan. We can stay here until you spill for me. Or you can spill now and head off to practice.”  
  
“I…” Ryosuke bit his lower lips. “It’s nothing, really.”  
  
“I know you, Yama-chan. You can’t lie to me.” Yabu stated.  
  
Ryosuke stay still for a while before he decided that he can’t deny it anymore. “It’s just, I really feel bad about the others. With you and Hikaru-kun always fussing over me. I mean I know you mean good but still…”  
  
The older boy can only sigh again. “What do you want then ? Aside from quitting JE ?”  
  
“I just wish you can treat me just like the others. Just the same.” Ryosuke muttered under his breath.  
  
“Wakatta.” Agreed the older boy.  
  
“Eh ?” Ryosuke turn his head, disbelieving the other’s fast agreement.  
  
“It’ll be hard. Since I know your conditions. But I’ll try to be fair. I promise.” Yabu explain shyly, a blush crept up his face. “Damn, Hikaru ! Now I really feel like a mom !” He adds in a whisper.  
  
Ryosuke giggle at the comment. “Hai. Arigatou Kaa-san~” He teases before fled out of the car.  
  
Yabu blushes more at this. “Oi ! Yama-chan !”  
  
*********************************************************************************************************  
  
Daiki smile at the sight he just saw. It’s nice to have the two boys understanding each other.  
  
To be honest, he had known about Ryosuke’s real condition. He accidentally overheard Yabu and Hikaru’s conversation when they talked about him. Not all of the truth. But enough to make him understand.  
  
“I just wish that the others will understand as well.” He whispers sadly as he stares at both boys’ back. “So there won’t be any misunderstanding anymore.”


	5. Fifth Chance

It was in the middle of their practice for their performances at Shounen Club when the disaster happened. They were just fine one moment, an then the next moment they were all turn frantic.  
  
“Up, down, turn, hold, down, and up again.”  
  
Everyone following those orders while perfecting the moves at each movements. But then, Chinen frown as he was standing in the middle and see his friend standing on his left faltered at his movements. But before he could voice out his suspicion, the boy already collapsed to the ground.  
  
“Ryosuke !” Yelled the shortest JUMP.  
  
But it was Hikaru who approach the falling boy.  
  
“Yama-chan ? Oi !” Hikaru yell as he shake the boy on his laps.  
  
“Calm down Hikaru !” Yabu warn him as he shakily put his hand on Ryosuke’s forehead. “He’s burning up.”  
  
“I’ll call an ambulance.” Daiki volunteer as he get his phone and start dialing.  
  
Inoo frown. _‘True that Yama-chan had just collapsed. But do they really need to call an ambulance ? It’s just a fever right ? Unless…’_  
  
“Kota ?”  
  
Yabu turn toward his caller.  
  
“What is it Inoo ?” He hiss impatiently.  
  
Inoo sigh. “We’ll need to talk later.”  
  


***

  
“Sugihara-sensei !” Yabu stand quickly as he saw the doctor left the room. “How is he ?”  
  
The man sigh as he massage his own temple. “I was wrong.”  
  
“What was wrong ?” Yabu can feel a lump formed inside his throat.  
  
“He’ll need to stay for a while.” The man is about to leave.  
  
“But until when ?” Demanded Yabu.  
  
Sugihara pause for a while. “If you would please come to our room ?”  
  
Yabu nod confidently.  
  
“All of you.”  
  


***

  
“Why didn’t you tell us ?” Takaki hiss while pushing Yabu to the wall.  
  
“Calm down, Yuya !” Inoo pull the boy back with the help of Keito in order to protect Yabu from getting hit.  
  
Yabu then dropped to the ground as Takaki’s hands were pried off of him. They are all fell into a pregnant silence after that. Only Daiki who is currently waiting inside Ryosuke’s ward are not around.  
  
Hikaru bit his lips in guilt. He was about to say something when they can hear a voice coming from the oldest member of JUMP.  
  
“I was selfish yes. To hide this kind of thing from you. To keep you all in the dark.” They can hear him sigh deeply. “But I can’t make him feel betrayed. He asked us not to tell anyone about it. He even begged us not to.”  
  
All eyes were fixed on the boy.  
  
“I was so frustrated. That I have to make sure that he’s alright, and at the same time making sure that you won’t feel jealous for the attention I gave him.” Droplets of tears already flow from his eyes. “What should I do ?”  
  
No one dare to say anything after that sudden burst.  
  
“It wasn’t Yabu-kun or Hikaru-kun’s fault.”  
  
Everyone immediately turn their heads toward the source of the voice.  
  
“Yama-chan !” Hikaru yell.  
  
Ryosuke can only smile sadly as he was sitting on the wheelchair with the IV connected to his left hand and Daiki behind him wheeling him closer.  
  
“It was my fault. I was selfish for not wanting you to know about my condition. But I also wouldn’t let Yabu-kun and Hikaru-kun to properly care for me.” He bows his head low. “I was only thinking about myself, so hontou ni gomenasai !”  
  
They are all left stunned at that before finally someone break the awkward silence.  
  
“I was being selfish myself.”  
  
Ryosuke lift his head as he frowns at the speaker. “Yuto-kun ?”  
  
Yuto sigh. “I was so jealous when Yabu-kun and Hikaru-kun started to gave you more attention. I was like ‘They’re so specializing you because you’re the Golden Boy’ without even thinking about how you feel. Dai-chan was right. I can’t just accept the fact that you wouldn’t always telling me everything anymore.”  
  
“I…” Ryosuke is looking nowhere but at him.  
  
“I never thought that you must be the one feeling the most hurt.” Yuto finish with a smile.  
  
Ryosuke look up to see that warm smile he miss so much. He just can’t help but to smile as well.  
  
“But still !” The lanky boy suddenly frown while putting one hand on his hips while the other is held high pointing at Ryosuke’s direction. “You’re wrong not to tell us everything ! Now you’re making us so worried.”  
  
Ryosuke smile sheepishly after recovering from the shock. “Gomen.”  
  
“Don’t do that again Yamada Ryosuke !” Warned Yuto as the others just laugh at his childishness.


	6. Sixth Chance

"You're getting better. So I guess you could have a little walk around the hospital for a while."  
  
"Hontou ? But, walking around the hospital is scary ! All I could see is sick people." Ryosuke's excitement changed drastically into a concern.  
  
The man just laugh at the boy's childishness.  
  
"There are lots of things you can explore here as well. And the garden is nice." Sugihara-sensei pat the boy's head gently.  
  
"You mean I can go out ?" Ryosuke's eyes twinkled in joy.  
  
"Of course you can. Fresh air is good for health." The man tell Ryosuke cheerily.  
  
"Yatta !" Ryosuke exclaimed in happiness.  
  
"But remember !" Warned the oncologist. "You can't force yourself too much ! When you're feeling tired enough, you should return immediately inside ! And no running as well !"  
  
Ryosuke pout at this. "Wakatta yo !"  
  
The man just laugh again before ruffling the boy's hair. "Anyway, I have to go now. Please behave ne~"

  
***

  
"Yabu-san !"  
  
Yabu halt in his track as he hears his name being called.  
  
"Ah, Hanamaru-san. What is it ?" He calls out.  
  
The young nurse smile at him. "Sugihara-sensei is expecting you at his office."  
  
The soon-to-be-man frown. Somehow, he has a bad feeling about this.  
  
"Wakarimashita. I'll head over there now. Thanks for telling, Hanamaru-san." Yabu bow at the nurse.  
  
"Please don't mind it." The nurse bow down as well before heading off to the opposite direction.  
  
As Yabu walk toward the oncologist's office, a dreaded feeling washed upon him. Suddenly, he recalls the talks they had not so long ago with the rest of JUMP members. The time when the others found out about Ryosuke's condition.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
 _"As I mentioned before, that Ryosuke-kun's ZAP-70 marker is positive. That time, I thought that the countdown is started off recently. But I was wrong. The statistics showed up quite different from our last test. And we somehow found out that we treated him a bit late." The doctor spoke up. "It could be very dangerous for Ryosuke-kun."_  
  
It was Inoo who broke the pregnant silence after that sudden statement.  
  
"What are you talking about Sensei ?"  
  
The man seemed quite taken aback as he stared at the oldest JUMP confusedly. "Yabu-kun, haven't you told them ?"  
  
And Yabu could only lowered his head.  
  
"What haven't you told us ?" This time it was the youngest member of JUMP who spoke up. "Ne, Yabu-kun !" He shook the boy's body quite strongly. "YABU-KUN TELL US !"  
  
Yabu could only watched as the doctor sighed and tried to calm them down.  
  
"Minna-san, please calm down. Yabu-kun must have had his reasons of why he didn't said a word to any of you." The man started. "So in his place, I'll tell you instead."  
  
"Tell us what ?" Keito ask rather impatiently.  
  
The man sighed again before continuing. "Right now, Ryosuke-kun is suffering from some kind of blood cancer called B-Cell Chronic Lymphocytic Leukimia."  
  
"CLL." Inoo breath out.  
  
"Correct." SUgihara agreed.  
  
Then as if realizing something, Inoo's eyes widen. "But then, if you said that Yama-chan's marker is positive, and that you were kinda late in treating him, then..."  
  
"Yes." The doctor sighed in defeat. "Ryosuke-kun has less than 5 years to live."  
  
"No."  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
Taking a deep breath, Yabu is readying himself to face anything that Sugihara-sensei will tell him. And with that, he knocks on the door until he hears a familiar voice giving him permission to come in.  
  
"Shitsureishimasu."  
  


***

  
Ryosuke is bored to death. And his stacks of manga that Hikaru brought yesterday just not enough to amuse him.  
  
"Sugihara-sensei told me that I could walk around for a bit, so I guess it's fine to wander around for a while~" He chirps happily before getting off of the bed carefully. Dragging his IV stand with him, he grins widely as he was about to roam around the hospital.  
  
"Where should I go first ?" He hummed to himself. "Maybe I should consult to Sugihara-sensei first." He decides.  
  
But before he walks any further, he realizes that he doesn't really know of where the doctor's room is. Since he was literally jailed inside the room all the time.  
  
"Anou~" He calls on one of the nurse.  
  
The young lady smiles softly. "Is there I can help you, Yamada-kun ?"  
  
"Can you tell me where Sugihara-sensei's office is ?" He asks politely.  
  
The lady frowns at his question. "Why ? Do you need something from him ? I can call him if you do."  
  
"Ah, no no no !" Ryosuke shake his head continuosly. "I just wanted to talk. He said I can walk around the hospital but I'm confused of where to go. So i'd like to consulting to him."  
  
"Ah sou !" The nurse's smile returns. "You must be feeling well right now, ne ?"  
  
"Un !" Ryosuke said while smiling widely.  
  
The nurse can't help but squeal at Ryosuke's cuteness. "Very well then. Sugihara-sensei's room is not that far from here. You just need to walk down this corridor and turn right at the end of the corridor. A few doors from there is his office."  
  
"Ah, arigatou-" Ryosuke tilt his head in a gesture of confusion.  
  
"My name is Aizawa Irumi." The nurse tell him.  
  
"Ah, arigatou Aizawa-san !" Ryosuke bow.  
  
"Dou ita simashite. I'm sorry I can't take you there though." The kind lady apologize.  
  
"It's alright. I'm fine by myself. Ja ne~" Ryosuke bid before walking away.  
  
The nurse just keep on smiling as she watches Ryosuke's back before returning to her previous task.  
  
Ryosuke is now walking confidently toward Sugihara-sensei's office. He reads each one of the rooms around him before finding the room he's searching. He smiles widely in his accomplishment. He's about to knock on the door as he hears a sudden voice bursting out.  
  
"What do you mean by that ?!"  
  
 _'Yabu-kun ? What is he doing here ? And why does he sounds so, upset ?'_ Ryosuke frown as he puts his ear on the door to get a clearer sound of the conversation.  
  
"I'm sorry Yabu-kun. But that's what's shown in our last test." Came the desperate answer from Sugihara-sensei.  
  
 _'What are they talking about actually ?'_ Ryosuke becoming more curious as the conversation continue.  
  
"But, 5 years is short enough ! And now you're telling me that Ryosuke only has 2 years left to live ?!" Yabu shout in anger.  
  
Ryosuke's mind blanked at this. His mind keeps on repeating the words Yabu just said. _'I only have 2 more years to live.'_  
  
"Roughly. He can survive for 3 years if we treated him carefully." The doctor corrected him.  
  
"But-" Yabu sounded defeated here. "Can't you find him a cure ?"  
  
Silence fill the whole room before the doctor break it with a soft "I'm sorry."  
  
Yabu sounded like that he's crying when he said the next words. "But this is unfair."  
  
"We are truly sorry, Yabu-kun." The older man try to comfort him. "I think this is time for you to call Ryosuke's parents."  
  
At the mention of his parents, Ryosuke practically collapsed on the floor. He can't imagine his parents' reactions when they hear this news. It hurts him more to see his families cry rather than feeling the pain physically. But then again...  
  
"I don't want to die." He whispers quietly before totally fall unconscious.

  
***

  
"Ryosuke-kun only have about 2 until 3 years left."  
  
Yabu's mind seemed to cannot comprehending the words the doctor just told him. After the uncomfortable silence between them, he finally burst.  
  
"What do you mean by that ?!" He shouts in anger.  
  
"I'm sorry Yabu-kun. But that's what's shown in our last test." The doctor sounded like he was just being fired and lost everything he ever had.  
  
"But, 5 years is short enough ! And now you're telling me that Ryosuke only has 2 years left to live ?!" Yabu can't seemed to mind of how the older man's feeling as his anger rises.  
  
"Roughly. He can survive for 3 years if we treated him carefully." The doctor corrected him.  
  
"But-" Yabu sounded defeated here. "Can't you find him a cure ?"  
  
Silence fill the whole room before the doctor break it with a soft "I'm sorry."  
  
Yabu sounded like that he's crying when he said the next words. "But this is unfair."  
  
"We are truly sorry, Yabu-kun." The older man try to comfort him. "I think this is time for you to call Ryosuke's parents."  
  
Yabu sigh. "I think-" But he stops immediately at the sudden thump can be heard from outside of the room. "What's that ?"  
  
"I don't know." The man shrug.  
  
Frowning, Yabu stand from his seat and walking toward the door. Opening it slowly, his eyes widen at the the motionless body lying on the floor.  
  
"YAMA-CHAN !"


	7. Seventh Chance

Opening his eyes slowly, Ryosuke begin to make around of his whereabout.  
  
 _'I'm in my ward already. What had happened I wonder.'_  
  
He props his elbows and slowly getting up and sit on his bed. Slowly he moves back and leans on his pillows.  
 _  
'I remember going out to Sugihara-sensei's office. But then before I could knock, I heard Yabu-kun's voice from inside. He was talking with Sugihara-sensei about...'_  
  
At this realization, his eyes dilated and sweats start to break and gliding down his face.  
  
"Uso..." He whispers in a chocked voice as his hands reaching out to clutch on his head. "Sonna..." He grips his head tight. "It can't be true..."  
  
 _"But, 5 years is short enough ! And now you're telling me that Ryosuke only has 2 years left to live ?!"_  
  
That angry voice of Yabu echoed in his mind as more realization rushed in.  
  
"I only have 2 more years to live..." He grips on his head tighter. "I still want to dance and sing with the others... I still want to watch my sisters' marriages and see their families... Their children... I still want to spend more times with my friends... Just fooling around with each other... I still want to fall in love... To have children on my own... To have a family on my own... I still... I still..."  
  
 _"And now you're telling me that Ryosuke only has 2 years left to live ?!"_  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO DIE !!! ARRRGGGHHHH !!!" He screams in frustation. He kicks his blanket away. Throwing things from his bedside table. He gets down from his bed, ripping his IV drip in the process and pushes things away. "NO !!!!!"  
  
Before Ryosuke could do more, the door of his ward opened and come rushing a panting Yabu.  
  
The older boy seemed to be stricken by the sight before his eyes, but another scream coming from Ryosuke bring him back out of his daze. Quickly, he rushed toward the panicked-boy and hold his arms to stop him from pushing and throwing things.  
  
"Yama-chan stop ! Please stop !" He yells at the other boy.  
  
"No ! Let me go !" The younger boy struggle out of his death grip with tears streaming down his face.  
  
"Yama-chan ! Please, listen to me ! Stop this and calm down !" Yabu shake his body desperately.  
  
"NO !! LET GO OF ME NOW !!!" Ryosuke continue with his struggles.  
  
"RYOSUKE !" Unconsciously, Yabu throw his left hand up and slap the boy hard.  
  
The stinging pain on his cheek seemed to surprised Ryosuke greatly as he stops struggling and just drop to the ground with his head down. His figure is shaking badly as he starts to cry harder.  
  
Holding his shaking left hand close to his own chest, Yabu take a few deep breaths before slowly crouching down and pull the other boy in a comforting hug.  
  
"I-I'm sorry Yama-chan, I didn't mean to hit you. But I don't know what else to do to make you calm down." The older boy sigh heavily. "I-I'm at lost. Why did you do, all of these ?"  
  
Snuggling deeper into Yabu's chest, Ryosuke could only mutter his chocked muffles. "I don't want to die."  
  
Can't quite hear of what Ryosuke was saying, Yabu pull back a bit and make a frown. "What did you just said ?"  
  
Looking up with his red eyes, Ryosuke repeat his words, "I don't want to die."  
  
And Yabu could do more but to widen his eyes in surprise.  
  


***

  
"Here Kota."  
  
Sighing deeply, Yabu take the can offered to him.  
  
"I'm not actually in the mood for anything." He stares at the can of warm milk in his hand.  
  
"But you ought to take something inside your stomach ! You haven't been eaten anything since this afternoon and it past midnight already ! At least drink this milk !" Cooed the other boy.  
  
"How can I possibly think about myself when someone I care is struggling with his life ?" Kota inquire.  
  
A sigh escape from the other boy's lips. "Look Kota, I know how you feel, but you have to take care of yourself. Because if not, who will take care of our boy ?"  
  
Silence fell between the both of them.  
  
"Gomen." The older boy finally break the silence.  
  
"Eh ? What for ?"  
  
"For always making you worried." Yabu sigh deeply. "We were supposed to be strong and taking care oof Yama-chan, but instead, I was always being overly sentimental and did nothing in the end."  
  
A playful smirk decorating the other boy's face before he stands and walk away. "Well, it can't be helped right ? Since a woman's feelings are much more sensitive of those of a man."  
  
Spurting the drink he just gulp down a second ago, Yabu stand from his seat and chase over the younger boy. "What are you trying to say, Hikaru ?!"  
  
Without saying anything, Hikaru just run away from the older boy's wrath while laughing heartily.  
  
"Hey ! No running in the hospital !"


	8. Eight Chance

Hikaru hesitately rise his hand to knock on the door before him. But before he could manage it, he halt midway. He closes his eyes and taking a deep breath while gripping the plastic bag he has in his other hand tighter.  
  
"Calm down Hikaru. This is not the time to be all jittery."  
  
Taking a few more deep breaths, he finally move his hand and knock the door a few times. A few seconds past but no answer were given.  
  
"Yama-chan it's me, Hikaru !" He calls out, but still no answers. Frowning by the lack of response, he yells out once more, "Yama-chan, I'm coming in !" And with one push, he opens the door of the room.  
  
Upon seeing the inside, his feature softened. He slowly make his way toward the bed. He puts the plastic bag he brought on top of the drawer just beside the table before seating himself on the chair and smiling serenely. His hand slowly moving to caress the dark hair belong to the sleeping teen on the bed.  
  
"So you are sleeping. No wonder there were no answers before." The older teen chuckle as he leans his body on the chair. "I was worried. I thought something happened."  
  
Sighing in content, Hikaru leans forward and rest his head on the bed while watching the younger boy's feature carefully.  
  
"You've got so much thinner, Yama-chan." He narrated sadly. "And you won't eat the way you were now. It kinda worried me, you know. Would your body get the proper nutrition with you refusing to eat after the third bite everytime ? I mean, I know the hospital provided you with this IV, but it's not the same as the real food right ?"  
  
He pout almost childishly as he lifts his head and props it on his right hand. "I wonder if you're okay." He then proceed to put his left hand on Ryosuke's forehead, and sighing after he feels it. "See ? Now you don't have any day when you're not sick. At least a little fever or a little cough will always fill your day."  
  
Laying his head on the bed once again, Hikaru sighs deeply. "I wonder if you're going to be okay like this. I'm so worried." And he closes his eyes as he starts drifting off.  
  


***

  
Ryosuke slowly open his eyes and smile. For the first time in a while, he felt refreshed. He takes a deep breath and smile as a familiar scent of his favourite treat.  
  
 _"Ryosuke only has 2 years left to live"_  
  
The thought of it kept ringing on hie head and it turned his smile into a frown immediately. He still can't accept it, but somehow, he feels calmer this time. And so this realization brought him into another smile.  
  
"Must be because of the strawberry scent." He giggles, but stop midway as he realizes something. "A strawberry scent ? What- ?" He scans the room and realizing that indeed there's a plastic bag smelled like a strawberry. Frowning at this, he props himself into a sitting position. Here is when he realizes that he's not alone inside the room.  
  
"Hikaru-kun ?"  
  


***

  
Hikaru was never a light sleeper. But he's also not the type that is needed to be shouted at or poured by water to actually wake up. But this time, the slight voice which is calling his name had made him open his eyes effortlessly.  
  
He sowly get up from his position and then stretching his body while yawning rather widely. Rubbing the bit of sleepiness off of his eyes he set his sight at the other boy who is frowning while staring at him quite intensely.  
  
"Oh, Yama-chan you're awake !" He chirps happily. "Here, I brought you a cake !" Hikaru reach out to get the plastic bag he put on the drawer and get the cake box inside and offer it to the younger boy. "Here ! This is strawberry, your favorite !"  
  
He watches the other boy reluctantly take the box and hold it on both of his hands, the frown never leave his feature.  
  
"What's wrong Yama-chan ?" Hikaru ask the other boy.  
  
Ryosuke just shake his head slowly. "Nandemonai. I was just thinking of how did you suddenly be here."  
  
Hikaru laugh a little at this. "Baka ! I was here to visit you. But you were sleeping when I came so I fell asleep."  
  
"Ah, sou." A nod of understanding come from the younger boy as he starts to unwrap the packaging of his cake.  
  
"Eh ? Is that all you said ? Won't you said anything anymore ? Like an apology or a simple thank you ? As your father, I'm hurt Yama-chan !" Hikaru pout as he looks away.  
  
Ryosuke giggles at the sight. "Hai hai ! Gomen ne Hikaru-Tou-san~ And thanks for coming today~ Ah ! thank you for the cake either~" He exclaims happily.  
  
"I understand." Hikaru said, still gloomily.  
  
Ryosuke burst into a laughter at this scene. "You're really hilarious ne, Hikaru-kun~ Here, as my apology, I will feed you the strawberry cake !" Ryosuke offer him a spoonful of cake.  
  
"Really ?" Hikaru stare at his eyes with sparkling eyes.  
  
"On second thought, I guess I'll have it all for my own !" Chirped Ryosuke as he munch on the cake happily.  
  
"Eh ? You're meanie Yamada-san !" Hikaru cross his hands in front of his chest while the pouts return.  
  
Ryosuke can't help but laugh again. "I was just kidding ! Here ! Aa~"  
  
Hikaru smile before he munch on the cake offered to him. "Oishii ne~"  
  
Ryosuke nod while continue eating his cake. Hikaru just smile tenderly at the other boy's behaviour. He giggles as he reaches out his hand to brush the cream which stucked on Ryosuke's nose.  
  
"You got a cream there." Explained the older boy to answer the unsaid question from Ryosuke.  
  
"Ah, sou~" And then Ryosuke continuing his task of eating until he finished it all. "Ah, I'm full~ The cake was so delicious~"  
  
"This is the first time you eat like a pig after a while." Hikaru tease the younger boy, hoping to get a pout and a whine as a reply. But instead, he receives a sad smile in return. "Yama-chan ? What's wrong ?"  
  
Ryosuke shake his head slowly as he put the now empty box on top of the drawer. "It's just that I've decided."  
  
"Decide what ?" Asked Hikaru curiously.  
  
"I've decided that I will live my life the fullest before I die."  
  
Hikaru's eyes widen at this. "W-what are you talking about ? That was one of the worst joke I've ever heard !" Hikaru retort nervously as he gets up and pick the empty box to throw it away.  
  
"I'm not joking. It's true. I'm going to die soon." Ryosuke said softly.  
  
Hikaru stop in his track and his hands started to tremble. "W-what is this about ?"  
  
"I overheard Yabu-kun's conversation with Sugihara-sensei yesterday. I somehow heard that I will only last for 2 years. Maybe 3 if I'm lucky." Ryosuke utter sadly.  
  
Hikaru can almost see the sad smile plastered on his pale face. He wanted to somfort him badly. Saying anything to encourage the boy. But a lump caught on his throat and the words he wished to say is left unsaid.  
  
"I couldn't accept that back then. I went rigid and mess things up. I guess Yabu-kun have told you about that incident already. And though I still can't fully accept it now, there is nothing I can do to really change the situation right ? So instead of whining and blaming, I've decided, that I'll just learn to accept this little by little and live my life the fullest. So when the time has come, I won't leave any regrets behind." A small sound of relief can be heard from the younger boy's direction.  
  
"Beside, I'm tired of running away from this. From now on, I want to face this bravely." Ryosuke chuckle at this. "Though I'm not that brave of a man though."  
  
At this point, Hikaru drop the empty box and rush toward the other boy and pull him into a tight embrace.  
  
"I'm sorry ! I'm so sorry !" Said Hikaru as the tears began to flow.  
  
Slowly, he can feel the thin hands wrap behind his back as Ryosuke's soft whispers echoed in the his ears, "Daijoubu yo. It's not like this was anyone's fault. I believe that God had made this fate of mine for a reason. A good one."  
  
"Oh, Yama-chan !" Hikaru cry harder as he clutches on Ryosuke's hospital gown tighter.  
  
"Mou, stop crying now Hikaru-kun ! It's just not you !" Ryosuke scolded him.  
  
"But- I can't stop." Hikaru mutter quietly.  
  
"Please, for me." Ryosuke whisper softly. "I'm not strong enough right now, and seeing you like this wouldn't do me any good. So please, don't cry. Beacuse it was your smile that give me strength each and every day." Hikaru can feel his shirt got wet and realizes that the younger boy is crying as well.  
  
"Yama-chan !" He pulls away only to see tears streaming down heavily from the younger boy's eyes.  
  
"Please, please !"  
  
"Yama-chan I'm sorry ! I didn't meant to make you cry like this ! I, I- " Hikaru the wipe his tears away and pull the side of his mouth upright to make a silly face. "Howa ! Wook ! I'm fot frying anyfore ! I'm flifing fow !" (Hora ! Look ! I'm not crying anymore ! I'm smiling now !)  
  
Ryosuke watch how Hikaru pull his face in a different way and make some weird noises. At this, he can't help but laughing in between his sobs.  
  
After a while, they both finally calmed down and now Hikaru is caressing Ryosuke's hair while the other is laying down with his head on Hikaru's lap.  
  
"Arigatou na, Hikaru-kun."  
  
Hikaru smile as he watches Ryosukes eyes closing little by little and he fell into a seemingly peaceful sleep.  
  
"Gomen ne, Ryosuke."


	9. Ninth Chance

"Sumimasen, but can't you reconsider this decision ?"  
  
A sigh escaped the old man who sit behind his desk. "You understand this well Yabu-kun. If you ask me personally, I don't want you to do this either, but this is the company we are talking about. We have to hear the fans' demands, and they want you to return."  
  
"But..." Yabu try to reason out.  
  
"This decision is firm. Hey! Say! JUMP will return to the entertainment world without Yamada Ryosuke. As for the boy himself, will be put in hiatus state until his condition is good enough for him to perform. And that is it." Said the old man firmly.  
  
"But Johnny-san..."  
  
"Yabu-kun." The firm sound has turned gentle now. "I understand how you feel right now. I have faced so many teenagers with their different problems until now. And I believe I haven't made any grave mistake concerning my decisions about those teenagers before, don't you think so ?"  
  
At this, Yabu could only nod slowly.  
  
The old man smile warmly at him. "So please, understand my consideration for this decision I've made. I will support you for everything you will do, but please, listen to this old man's request for now. Believe me, this is what you all need."  
  
Sighing in defeat, Yabu nod in agreement.  
  
"Good. Now cheer up ! Tell me, how's Yamada-kun doing ?" Johnny-san lean back on his chair as he inquired the question.  
  
Yabu smile weakly in response. "He's doing pretty well lately. The doctor told us that his condition is gradually getting better."  
  
"That's good news, isn't that ?" The man smile widely. "So, have you told his parents about this ?"  
  
Yabu nod. "Un. We have told them a few days ago. They took it quite well, and they promised to fly back home as soon as possible. I guess, they have long prepared for this situation."  
  
"I see." The old man sigh deeply. "I hope he's going to be alright soon so he can return with you all."  
  
"He will be alright." Yabu smile sadly. "But he will never be fully alright from now onwards."  
  


***

  
"Isn't it great ?" Ryosuke smile happily.  
  
The tall lanky boy sigh. "It is. But it won't be the same without you."  
  
Ryosuke can only stare sadly at his friend. Taking a deep breath, he whack his friend's head.  
  
"Ittai ! What was that for Yama-chan ?" The other boy rub his abused head continuosly.  
  
"Hora ! Genki da yo !" Ryosuke scold him. "I will get well soon and return woth you all ! So there's no point in whining now ! A few weeks performing without me won't kill right ?"  
  
The other boy just pout and not answering anything.  
  
"Right ? Yuto-kun ?" Demand the older boy.  
  
Nodding annoyedly, Yuto then pick the water bottle he brought and drink it's content.  
  
"I'm using the bathroom okay ?" Yuto stand from his seat head toward the bathroom inside the room.  
  
"Un." Ryosuke nod as he continue reading the manga he was reading a while ago.  
  


***

  
Closing the bathroom door and lock it, Yuto heave a deep sigh.  
  
"You don't understand Yama-chan." A single tear finally excaped his eye. "It won't be the same without you." Now droplets of tear started to pour down his face. "And eventhough you said that you'll return with us soon, there's a possibility that you never will."  
  
At this moment, Yuto practically dropped onto the cold floor and sobbing hard.  
  
"And it hurt me so much that you can't return to the stage you loved."  
  
Fragments of memory started to appear on his mind.  
  
"You never know, why our places changed gradually. How you turned into JUMP's golden boy, how I disappeared behind your light..."  
  
As more memories filled his head, his tears pouring for more.  
  
"I knew you best Yama-chan. How you loved the stage. How you loved to sing and dance. And I knew it that you can be the brightest star if only you were given a chance..."  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
 _"Please Johnny-san ! Give Yama-chan a chance !"_  
  
"You know the rule Nakajima-kun. There can only be 1 gold in 1 group, or else it will crush the group from the inside."  
  
"I, I will do anything to make Yama-chan shine !"  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
"And when I finally saw you shone so brightly, I know I didn't regret the decision I've made."  
  
He sobs harder at this.  
  
"But seeing you like this, it hurts me so badly. Because I know that I will feel really disappointed."  
  
Remembering the smiles Ryosuke ever smiled at him, Yuto couldn't help but smile as well, although bitterly.  
  
"Because I know that I won't be able to see the Yama-chan I liked the most when he's doing his most beloved thing. That I won't be able to see his sparkling aura when he's on stage anymore."  
  
Wiping his tears away, Yuto stand up and quickly wash his face and try to clear any traces of his cry before. Satisfied with his appearance, he walks out the bathroom only to find Ryosuke's back as the boy seems to be sleeping.  
  
He chuckles at this view and move forward to fix Ryosuke's blanket. Caressing his hair gently before placing a kiss on Ryosuke' head, Yuto decided to get out of the room in search of food while waiting the boy to wake up.  
  
Little did he knows, that the bathroom he was in was not sound-proof and that Ryosuke was there listening to all his cries. And that Ryosuke was not sleeping in the first place.


	10. Tenth Chance

_'I'll come tonight after the show. -Yabu'_  
  
Ryosuke smile at the message he just received. The oldest member had been so kind to him. He always made sure to visit him at least once every 2 days. To talk nonsense or just to keep him company.  
  
It'd been 2 weeks since Ryosuke was allowed to went home. Aside from his recovery, his parents had returned home as well. So he can be watched from home still. The doctor had allowed him to return to school as well. But still no extra activities aside school. Means no work as well.  
  
"Woof woof !"  
  
Turning his head at the source of the sound, Ryosuke giggle as Cookie start sniffing on his bare foot.  
  
"Stop it Cookie !" He yells playfully as he pick the little dog in his arms. "Do you miss me that much you need to bother me every 5 minutes ?"  
  
A happy bark is all he hears from the dog. Ryosuke shake his head at his dog's attitude.  
  
"Go bother the others Cookie~ I need to work on my homework !" He puts the dog back and usher him outside.  
  
Closing his room's door, he sighs before making his way back to his study desk and continue to work on his homework.  
  


***

  
Yabu silently curse as his phone couldn't get the signal he's needing badly. He keeps on pacing back and forth to get the signal but none is coming. Who knows that your phone's signal will be none in the middle of the city ? Well, apparently Yabu does now.  
  
Finally getting one bar on his phone, Yabu quickly click the 'Send' button on his phone and wait until the message is sent. After a few more seconds, the message is finally sent and Yabu close his phone. Taking a deep sigh, he couldn't help but feel guilty.  
  
"Kota ! Come quick ! The van is going to leave soon !"  
  
Rushing back inside the van, Yabu sigh again as he finally seated himself inside the van.  
  
"What's wrong ?" Asked Hikaru who sit beside him as the van start to move.  
  
"I'm feeling guilty." Answered the older boy gloomily.  
  
"And that is because ?"  
  
"Because I can't come to Yama-chan's house to visit him tonight as promised." Yabu said quietly.  
  
"Didn't you just tell him that you can't come ?" Hikaru frown at his worry.  
  
"Yes. And I told him that I'll come tomorrow instead. But, I don't know ! I just can't stop feeling guilty." The oldest member in JUMP ruffling his own hair in frustation.  
  
"Calm down, Kota. Everything will be alright." Hikaru try to console him.  
  
"I hope so..."  
  


***

  
"What took you so long ?"  
  
A boy shiver as the cold night air flowing inside his room through his window. But he stay on his place sitting in front of the window and stare outside to look for the familiar figure that might be showing up.  
  
"Yabu-kun..."


	11. Eleventh Chance

"Ryosuke, wake up honey ! You're going to be late !" Mrs. Yamada knock on her son's bedroom to wake the boy up. Getting no answer after a few moments of waiting, she decides to trudge in her way. "Ryosuke ! I'm coming in okay !"  
  
Turning the doorknob before pushing the door forward, Mrs. Yamada gasp seeing her son sprawling by the window with his head propped by the window pane as the window itself is still opened widely.  
  
"Chotto Ryosuke !" She rushed toward her son's side. "Why are you sleeping with open window ?" She gently lay the boy on his bed and feels his temperature. She frowns when she found it extremely high.  
  
She feels the boy stir as his eyes opened little by little.  
  
"Ryosuke, dear, you're having a high fever. Eat a little now and then we'll go to the hospital okay ?" She tells her son while wiping the sweats from his forehead.  
  
But what surprised her was that Ryosuke shake his head weakly as his answer.  
  
"I don't want to go to the hospital." Is what Ryosuke murmur.  
  
"Why ?"  
  
"I need to wait for Yabu-kun." Ryosuke snuggle deeper into his bed. "He'll come here. I'll need to be home."  
  
Mrs. Yamada sigh at her son's reason. She fixes the blanket for her son before standing up. "Okay. But we'll go to the hospital by tomorrow if you're not getting well okay ?"  
  
Ryosuke nod slowly from under his blanket. But this gesture still can be caught by her mother's eyes.  
  
"I'll make you some soup then. Don't push yourself okay ?" She closes the still opened window before making her way out.  
  


***

  
"Uwaah ! That show was so tiring !" Takaki stretch his arms wide.  
  
"You're just getting old Yunyan~" Tease Chinen as he props himself on Daiki's lap.  
  
"Nani ? What did you just said squirrel ?" Takaki glare at the shortest JUMP member furiously.  
  
"What ? So you're getting deaf too ?" Pry the younger boy.  
  
Before Takaki say anything anymore, Yabu decides to kick in. "Maa, maa. Stop that will you ? We don't need to hear that kind of fight now."  
  
"But-"  
  
Before Takaki and Chinen managed to continue, a knock is heard before the door of their dressing room is opened and came one of the staff.  
  
"Anou, Yabu-san. You've got a phonecall here."  
  
Yabu frown. "Boku desuka ?"  
  
As the staff nod, Yabu take the phone from him while thanking him before speaking to the caller.  
  
"Moshi-moshi ? Yabu desu."  
  
As Yabu hear the other party speak on the other line, the rest of JUMP members can see how his face turned into a surprise state.  
  
"Hontou desuka ? Ah, hai ! I'll come immediately ! Hai ! Arigatou for informing me ! Hai, sumimasen ! Hai, jya !"  
  
They see how Yabu almost shouting frantically at the phone before cutting the line. They also see how he hurriedly give back the phone to the staff and rush to get his things.  
  
"I'm leaving first, jya."  
  
"C-chotto matte !" Hikaru pull the older boy's hand before he could leave without another words. "Where are you going ? And what's with the rush ?"  
  
"It's Yama-chan."  
  
And with that 2 words spilled from Yabu's words, Hikaru let his hand go and watch him disappear behind the dressing room's door as he slumped down on his chair.  
  
"Don't tell me..."  
  


***

  
Yabu quickly press the bell of Yamada household the moment he reached the house. Still panting from running here, he tries to gain his composure as he waits for somebody to open the door.  
  
Not too long after, sound of footsteps can be heard and he watch as the door started to opened, revealing a middle-aged woman who he recognizes as Ryosuke's mother.  
  
"Yabu-san ! Ah, thank you for coming ! Come in !" She welcomes him in politely.  
  
"Sumimasen." Yabu put off his shoes as he is offered a change of inhome sandals. "Ryosuke wa ?" He asks the woman as they walk inside.  
  
"He's in his room. You may go there now. I'll bring you snacks later." The woman lead him to the stairs.  
  
"Ah, you don't have to do that !" Yabu try to reject the offer politely.  
  
"Ii yo." Said Mrs. Yamada simply. "I believe you've known, but in case you forget, Ryosuke's room is the second room on the left."  
  
"Hai, wakarimashita. Jya, I'll be going now." Yabu bow as he makes his way upstairs.  
  
He doesn't know why, but somehow, a suffocating feeling engulfed him tighter as he moves closer toward Ryosuke's room. He takes several deep breath as he stands in front of Ryosuke's room before he raises his hand to knock on the door.  
  
"Yama-chan, it's me Yabu. Can I come in ?" He calls out softly.  
  
A few seconds later, he hears a shuffle inside and a weak voice calling out his name. "Yabu-kun ?"  
Smiling bitterly, Yabu call out again. "Sou, I'll come in okay ?"  
  
Without even waiting for an answer, Yabu push the door open. What he sees inside make him feeling even guiltier than before.  
  
"Yabu-kun..." Ryosuke rasp out as he props himself up into a sitting position.  
  
"You should just lay down !" Yabu lightly scold the boy as he rushed toward him. But he was left speechless as warm hands wrap themselves on his waist. He can feel Ryosuke's fevered body pressed against himself. The heat coming from Ryosuke's face feels a little uncomfortable as the boy snuggles against his stomach.  
  
"You finally come..."  
  
Yabu feels a pang on his heart at the words being spoken by the younger boy. Gently, he releases the boy's hands from his waist and seat himself beside him. He pulls the boy so he can lay comfortably on his lap. When he feels the boy is sighing in content, Yabu smile as he starts caressing the boy's damp hair.  
  
"You shouldn't have waited for me. I told you I couldn't come, didn't I?" Asked the older boy softly.  
  
Ryosuke only shake his head in response and this made Yabu frown.  
  
"You didn't receive my mail ?"  
  
Ryosuke sigh. "No. I was waiting for your call as well, but none had came."  
  
Yabu sigh as well at this. "Looks like the signal was making fun of me." He sighs once again. "Gomen ne. Yesterday there was a sudden filming so I couldn't come. I sent you a message, though it looked like the message was never received."  
  
"It's okay. You still come at last." Ryosuke smile while staring at the older boy's eyes.  
  
"Yes. But I caused you to fell sick like this." Said Yabu sadly.  
  
"Mou, yamette yo !" Ryosuke pout. "It was no one's fault Yabu-kun. I know how it went on entertainment business. And what's important is that you were trying to tell me, despite it was not well delivered. And you came in the end."  
  
Yabu chuckle at the younger boy's scoldings. "Hai, hai ! Now stop pouting and rest. You don't want to return to the hospital do you ?"  
  
Ryosuke smile and nod at him. "Oyasumi then."  
  
"Oyasumi." Yabu smile softly as he lifts the boy's head to lay him on the bed properly and put the blanket over him.  
  
"Yabu-kun ?"  
  
"Hai ?" Yabu stare at the red-faced Ryosuke.  
  
"Stay with me tonight." He said within a whisper. "Please."  
  
Taken aback by the request, Yabu thoroughly smile as he also lays beside Ryosuke. He puts his hand on Ryosuke's waist and hug the boy close.  
  
"Of course." He whispers to his ear softly as he kisses the boy's head.  
  
Yabu can feel the boy's smile as he snuggling more onto him. He starts patting the boy's back while humming a lullaby for it was how he knows to make someone sleep faster.  
  
Just as he thought that Ryosuke is already asleep, he hears a low "Arigatou" coming from the boy's mouth. Smiling widely at this he continues cooing the boy to sleep until he fell asleep himself.


	12. Twelfth Chance

"You're getting better Ryosuke-kun ! It's a great improvement ! Aren't you glad ?" The oncologist smile widely while showing Ryosuke his latest test' result.  
  
Ryosuke smile back at the doctor and nod excitedly.  
  
"Keep doing good like this and you'll be okay." Sugihara-sensei lecture him.  
  
"Un." Ryosuke nod obediantly.  
  
"Anyway, how's your group doing ? It'd been half a year since they started working again right ?" Asked Sugihara-sensei while checking on Ryosuke's documents.  
  
"They've been doing great. And they're currently holding a concert in Osaka now." Answered Ryosuke as he leaning back on his chair.  
  
"Ah sou. Send them a good luck for me then, okay ?"  
  
Ryosuke nod in understanding. "Anou, can I ask you something Sensei ?"  
  
"What is it ?" Sugihara-sensei looking up from his document and staring right into Ryosuke's eyes. Somehow, the determined look on the boy's eyes sent a chill down his spine.  
  
"When could I return to the entertainment world ?"  
  
The question immediately sent the oncologist into a speechless state before he broke a sigh. "I know this question will come someday."  
  
"So ?" From Ryosuke's voice, there's a tint of demand in it.  
  
Sugihara-sensei sighs deeply before he starts explaining. "You know, it is hard for me to tell you, but your condition is not as good as you expected. True that you're gradually getting better, but you can never know when will it turns worse. And with your loads of works as an entertainer, it's going to be very hard for your body. I don't think you can cope up like you used to be anymore, Ryosuke-kun."  
  
"So you're telling me to quit being an entertainer ?" Ryosuke ask shakily.  
  
The oncologist put down his glasses on the desk and cross his chest as he sighs again. "It is dissapointing indeed, but yes, I suggest you to quit being an entertainer."  
  
Ryosuke's head dropped at this and for a moment they only share silence between them.  
  
"But I'll die eventually, right ?" A quiet whisper came from Ryosuke.  
  
"Pardon me ?" Sugihara-sensei lean forward to get a better hearing.  
  
Ryosuke looks up and that is when Sugihara-sensei found the tears shining as the boy tried hard not to make it fall. "I can't quit, sensei. This has become a part of my life and I can't just quit this like this. I've shed too many tears, sweats, and bloods to this. I can't just quit it like this."  
  
"But Ryosuke-kun..."  
  
"I don't want to lose to this sickness. I will prove it that I still can do things I used to be able to do even with this condition. I will get through this no matter what people said. Even if everyone telling me to stop, I won't cause I know I will overcome this."  
  
"But you have to think about your body, Ryosuke-kun !"  
  
"I don't care of what's happening to my body !" Ryosuke stand from his seat as he shouts frustatedly. "I just want to do things I like while I can ! I know I'm dying and that I don't have that much time left for me ! But at least I want to die a fighter ! I don't want to spend the rest of my life just sitting back, waiting for death to come !"  
  
Sugihara-sensei can only watch as the boy slumped down on his chair and tears started to fall down from his eyes.  
  
"At least I want to be able to do things I want while I still have time..."  
  
Sighing deeply, the oncologist know that he perhaps will regret this decision years later. But as for now, he himself wants to decide things by his heart at least once. He sighs again as he approach the boy, puts one of his hand on top of Ryosuke's head and crouch down to his eye-level.  
  
"This is against the doctor's policy but- " The man seems hesitating at this. "But if you think that it's the best for you, then you should do it. After all, it's you who knows yourself the best deshou ?"  
  
Ryosuke's shocked face make the doctor smile as he ruffles the boy's hair gently.  
  
"Sensei, are you serious ?"  
  
Sugihara-sensei laugh at this. "You were asking for this first of all, and now you're accusing me for being not serious ?"  
  
Ryosuke blush at this. "No, it's just, I still can't believe you agree with my request."  
  
The doctor smile. "I'm not actually. But I think it's the best if you were given a chance to do things as you wished right ?"  
  
Ryosuke broke into a wide smile as he nods happpily. "Un ! Arigatou sensei !"  
  
Seeing the boy's excitedness somehow saddened the man. He had thought the boy like his own son. He personally thought that he'd been a better man after he met Ryosuke. Maybe it's his smile, maybe it's his kindness, no matter what, he already fell for the boy. And so he thinks that it is unfair for the boy to face these kind of obstacles while he still has a bright future ahead him. But then again, that is life. And he knows that this unfairness must have had a meaning somehow.  
  
Smiling bitterly, the man pull Ryosuke into a tight embrace as he pats his back the way a father encourage his son. "Do your best okay ? Always know that I'll support you no matter what decision you take. You can come to me whenever you need a help. I will try my best to help you."  
  
Ryosuke smile as he feels the gentleness coming from the man who had been taking care of him for quite some times now. Being embraced like this, he somehow feeling the warmth he always feel when he was being hugged by his own father.  
  
"I will. Thank you very much, Takato-sensei."  
  
The man feels like crying when the boy called him with his first name. He hugs the boy tighter as he murmurs, "Anything for you son."  
  


***

  
Hikaru is feeling a little bit too active today. And when he's feeling a little bit too active, he intends to waste it on pulling off some pranks to his bandmates. And that is why he's coming much more earlier today.  
  
"I'm going to mess with Takaki's hair stuffs today~ And maybe a little doing with Dai-chan's stuffs~ And a little thing over here and there~" He chirps happily as he opens JUMP's dressing room with a huge grin. But his grin fell when he found someone is already there, sleeping with a blanket clad around him.  
  
"Why ? When I thought that today is going to be fun !" He grumbles to himself as he puts his bag somewhere and sulk there. But then an idea pops up his head. "Hey ! He's sleeping ! I think I can pull off something to him~"  
  
And with that, Hikaru walks very carefully with a marker on hand toward the sleeping boy. He opens the blanket from the other boy's head and ready to draw something, but the he halts when he sees the sleeping boy's face.  
  
"Yama-chan ?"  
  
Seemingly awaken by the voice, the boy stir and start to open his eyes. After focusing clearly to his surrounding, a smile produced as he found Hikaru standing not too far from himself.  
  
"Ah, Hikaru-kun ohayou !" He greets the older boy as he sits up and stretch his body.  
  
"Yama-chan ! What are you doing here ?" Asked the still bewildered boy.  
  
"Hm ? I'm coming here to practice of course ! But I guess I was being overly excited so I came too early here. And so I decided to sleep while waiting for you all to come~" Explained the boy while grinning widely. "Ah, how was Osaka's concert ? The day before tomorrow was your last concert right ?"  
  
"Ah, un, it was good, yes." Hikaru just nodding his head dumbly.  
  
Ryosuke smile seeing the confused state of the older boy. "I have decided Hikaru-kun."  
  
"Eh ?" Hikaru frown confusedly.  
  
Ryosuke nod once before saying, "I have decided, that despite my sickness, I still want to continue living my life. It might be bad for me seen from my condition, but I don't want to die regretting that I wasn't able to do things I wanted to do when I still have a chance. I want to die smiling after doing things in my life to the fullest. I want to die happy, knowing that I have done things my way."  
  
Hikaru's eyes softened at this. He approaches the boy and pats his shoulder gently. "Are you sure you're okay with this ?"  
  
The boy smile and nod at this. "Un. I'm sure with this."  
  
Hikaru squeezes the shoulder's he's holding and give the boy an encouraging smile. "If you think so. I'll support you 'til the end. We all will."  
  
"Arigatou, Hikaru-kun." Whisper the boy gratefully.  
  
Not long after that, the other members start coming. And just like Hikaru did, they were all surprised with Ryosuke's sudden appearance. But they soon accept it and start acting like they always did.  
  
All the while, Hikaru himself feeling a different aura today. Somehow, Ryosuke's presence had lift some weight from everyone's heart. And it made things seems lighter today. No more strained laughters. No more forced smiles. And he doesn't have to try too hard to lighten the mood again.  
  
"Yappari, Yama-chan was not only the Golden Boy of our group, he's also the mood-maker here. Not me like everybofy thought." Hikaru smile to himself at the realization.  
  
He watches the other members interact with Ryosuke a little bit too much today. Chinen clings too much to the boy. Both Daiki and Yuto worries too much at the boy. Keito talk too much to the boy. Takaki fuss too much at the boy. And Ryutaro try to fight him too much today either.  
  
"It seems that their reaction was kinda too much don't you think so ?"  
  
Hikaru turn his head to his side only to see Yabu already sitting beside him.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Yabu laugh at the comment.  
  
"Why are you laughing ?" An irritated question coming from the younger boy.  
  
"Nothing. It's just, that you react a little bit too much either." Answered Yabu nonchalantly.  
  
"Why do you think so ?" Hikaru frown at the answer.  
  
"Because." Yabu stand up from his position. "It's not like you to just sit down and watch things goes on without saying much." And then he left to stop the others from 'disturbing' Ryosuke.  
  
Hikaru smile as he watches Yabu-mama act up. "I think so." He whispers to himself just like that for a while before a sudden realization comes up to him.  
  
"AHH !" He yells loudly.  
  
"What's wrong Hikaru-kun ?" Asked Chinen from Ryosuke's lap.  
  
"I forget that I was supposed to pull a prank today ! That was why I came early in the first place !"


	13. Thirteenth Chance

_'Yama-chan, how are you doing today ? We'll be having practices at 10 today okay ? Don't push yourself too hard. Yabu'_  
  
Ryosuke sigh as he plips close his phone. He's glad that Yabu care so much about him. But it kinda annoyed him that the older boy had to send him that kind of message in a daily basis. And if Yabu couldn't do it, a message from Hikaru will come as a replacement. It's not like that he hates it, it's just that it makes him feels more helpless than ever.  
  
He needs a break for this. And that is why he turns off his phone and decided to miss practice today. He'll just hang out around the town. He starts walking and sightseeing his surroundings. That's when he realizes that a marathon is currently being held at the moment. And so he decides to see the race from the side.  
  
Which seems to be a mistake.  
  
Suddenly, a yell was erupted from a girl standing not too far from him. Ryosuke turn to see what the commotion is all about when he founds the girl who was screaming pointing a finger at him.  
  
"IT'S YAMADA RYOSUKE FROM HEY! SAY! JUMP !" She yells frantically.  
  
'Shoot ! A crazy fangirl !' Ryosuke curse inside his head as he tries to get away before more people realizes his presence.  
  
It's kinda a bit too late though, cause some people had already started chasing him out. Ryosuke runs as fast as possible. But it'd been quite long since he ran so he lost his breath rather quickly. He's about to give up when a hand grab his and start pulling him away.  
  
"C-chotto !" Ryosuke shout weakly.  
  
"Shut up and follow me ! You surely don'y want to die young right ?" The mand in front of him hiss while keep running.  
  
Ryosuke can't say anything anymore. So he just follow the man's lead until they finally get away from the fans' chase. At their hideout's place, Ryosuke collapsed to the ground due to the exhaustion.  
  
"Hey ? Are you alright ?" The man ask him in concern, his breathing is still rigid from all the running.  
  
Ryosuke opens his eyes only to find the man hovering over him. And only then he realizes that the man is wearing some suit. Ryosuke sat up as he said, "Un. I'm okay. It's just, that it'd been long since I ran like that, so, I kinda tired, yeah. Uhm, I'm not disturbing you or anything right ?"  
  
The man looks like he just realizes something and he checked on his watch. "Yabai ! I'm late ! uh, I have to go but I can't just leave you like this ! Ah ! I know ! I'll just take you with me ! Come on !" The man is ready to take Ryosuke into another running fit but the boy stop him.  
  
"No, it's okay. You can just go. I can't really run anymore." Ryosuke said quietly.  
  
"Eh ?" The man stare at him in confusion. His face twisted as if he's thinking something. "But I can't leave you here as well. Hora ! I'll just carry you ! Come on !" He crouches down as if signaling Ryosuke to hop on.  
  
"Eh ? No, no ! It's okay really !" Ryosuke try to refuse his offer.  
  
"Ii yo !" The man coo him. "Beside, it seems like that you have some troubles within. I'm going to show you something good."  
  
The kind voice of the man, and the words that created curiousity inside Ryosuke, he finally agreed as he climbs on the man's back. Standing up, the man start running slowly along the way.  
  
"Hey, you're that Yamada Ryosuke from Hey! Say! JUMP right ?" The man suddenly ask.  
  
"Hai." Answered Ryosuke sheepishly.  
  
"Ah ! My nephew is one of your fan you know ! By the way, I'm Iwase Ken." Introduced the man.  
  
"Ah, Iwase-kun. Yoroshiku." Ryosuke bow slightly from behind the man.  
  
"Don't be so formal. Anyway, we're here !" Said Iwase as he put Ryosuke down.  
  
Taking a sight at the building in front of him, Ryosuke is mesmerized by the beautiful view of the church.  
  
"Are we ?"  
  
"Yeah. We're visiting my friend's wedding here." Answered Iwase even before Ryosuke managed to finish his question.  
  
"But I'm not wearing a proper suit." Ryosuke looking at himself who is only wearing a white casual sweatshirt with maroon vest on his upperbody, and a dark-blue navy cargo tucked inside his black boots.  
  
"It's alright ! You look just fine like that !" Encourage the man while patting his shoulders.  
  
"Oi ! Ken ! Hayaku come here ! 'Taku ! How could you be late at a day like this !" Come a yell from afar.  
  
The both of them turned their face toward the yeller. Iwase grin sheepishly as he drags Ryosuke toward the other 2 men. "Hehehe. Gomen gomen ! Okay ! Let's get going ! Ikkou ze, Yamada-kun !"  
  
Ryosuke only nod as he follows the 3 men inside. The're preparing some stuff which Ryosuke recognizes as some filiming stuffs. So he concludes that they're going to film the wedding.  
  
"Hey ! Who is that boy you brought along ?" Asked the smallest man amongst the 3.  
  
"Can't you recognize him ? He's the Yamada Ryosuke from Hey! Say! JUMP ! That JE artist !" Explained Iwase.  
  
"Eh ? Introduce me, Ken ! Introduce me !" Exclaimed the small man happily.  
  
Iwase sigh as he finally give in. "Okay, okay ! Anyway, Yamada-kun, let me introduce you to my friends. This man here is Tsurumi Hisashi, or Tsuru in short since he's so short." Said Iwase while pointing his excited friend. "And the handsome man here is Enokido Mikio. Guys, this is Yamada Ryosuke."  
  
"Ah, hajimemashite." Ryosuke bow while the other 2 doing the same.  
  
"We would like to chat around with you a while longer Yamada-kun, but we have something to do, so..." Enokido said politely as he grabs the camera with him.  
  
"Ah ! We'll talk more later okay !" Tsurumi wave his hand excitedly while letting himself being dragged by Iwase.  
  
"Gomen, Yamada-kun ! After the ceremonial wedding is over, we'll talk again, okay !" Said Iwase while getting away with the 2 men.  
  
Ryosuke smile as he watches their backs disappearing. He decides to just watch the wedding while waiting for Iwase and the others finished their jobs. Taking a seat at the behind the other seaters, Ryosuke couldn't help but noticed the longing expression that Iwase put as he looking at the bride who is coming slowly through the door. As he watches the two of them more, a sudden realization hits him.  
  
Iwase fell in love with the bride.  
  
But how they ended up like this, only God knows. And so, for the rest of the ceremony, Ryosuke could only stare at the newly wed couple sadly. Knowing that his saviour must have been feeling hurt so much.

 

 

***

  
"Sorry we took long." Iwase apologize at him once they put away the filming stuffs after the ceremony is ending.  
  
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. "It's okay. It's not like that you have to rushed things out for me."  
  
"Ah, sou. Shall we go to the party then ? Eat much here ne ?" Offer Tsurumi while he drags Enokido out.  
  
Before Iwase can pull him out as well, Ryosuke pull his sleeve as if asking him to stay.  
  
"Iwase-kun, do you love the bride ?" Ryosuke ask bluntly at this.  
  
The man seemed taken aback by Ryosuke's sudden question so he was left speechless for a while before laughing softly.  
  
"You got me there, Yamada-kun." He said while still trying to control his laugh. "Well, as you said just now, yes, I'm in love with the bride. She is my childhood friends. We were always been together for as long as I can remember. She's nice, pretty, but is strong and independent. That's how I fell for her I think."  
  
"So why you don't- ?"  
  
The serene yet sad smile on Iwase's face stopped Ryosuke from continuing. Seeing his expression, Ryosuke somehow understand the whole story.  
  
"We were always been together. Yet, we couldn't even tell each others our true feelings directly. I wasn't brave enough to told her that I love here. I was too afraid things will be awkward for us if I said it. And because of my cowardness, in the end she was taken away by another man." Iwase look down at his feet with sad eyes.  
  
"Iwase-kun, gomen." Apologized Ryosuke guiltily.  
  
The man smile as he pats Ryosuke's head. "It's okay, really. It's not like there's something I can really do right now. I regretted it that I couldn't even tell the girl I loved my true feelings properly, but it doesn't mean that I should give up everything else in my life right ?"  
  
Ryosuke stare at the man's eyes only to find kindness radiating from them.  
  
"It's true that I loved her, and loving her still. But loving someone doesn't mean that you must have her right ? As long as she's happy, I will be happy. Though it tore my heart seeing her be happy with someone else. But it's time for me to face reality as a gentleman." Iwase reach out to wipe the tears that is about to fall down his face. "Yamada-kun, would you like to help me ?"  
  
"About what ?" Ryosuke frown at this sudden quest.  
  
"I'd like to sing for Rei, the bride, as my final gift for her. But I'm not that confident in my singing. So would you please help to sing along with me ? It's one of your senpai's song, so I think you must have know this well. Onegai ?" Iwase crouch to Ryosuke's eye level and gripping both of his shoulders with pleading eyes.  
  
Ryosuke sigh knowing that he can't get away with this. "What song ?"  
  
Iwase smile as he ruffles the boy's hair. "It's Akanishi Jin-san's song, Eternal."

 

 

***

  
"A special gift for the bride from his childhood friend and, ehm, his newly found friend. Douzo !"  
  
A sad yet familiar melody start to echo through the hall right after the MC said that. Ryosuke smile as he remembers what his senpai Akanishi told them all about this song.  
  
_"It's a song I created for my friend's wedding."_ Is what Akanishi said back then. Maybe, knowing this, is the reason why Iwase chose this song to sing today.  
  
Closing his eyes as the melody continues, Ryosuke smile as Iwase start singing his part.  
  
_"Suki toka kirai toka, kantan na kotoba ja tsutaeru_  
_Koto ga dekinai_  
_Ichinen ni ichido no tokubetsuna kono hi wo_  
_Nando demo itsumademo ichiban chikaku de_  
  
_Mujakina egao kawaranai shigusa_  
_Hitotsu hitotsu subete ga takaramono"_  
  
Ryosuke takes a deep breath before he sing along with Iwase for the chorus part, still standing behind the curtain.  
  
_"Anata ga waratte iki teru_  
_Tada sore dake de_  
_Ureshikute, atatakakute, yasashiku nareru_  
_Boku no mirai wo terashiteru"_  
  
Sighing, he steps forward to get into where Iwase stand. Gasps can be heard around the room as his figure is seen. He smiles his idol smiles and he's sure that most women try their best to hold their squeals. Taking another deep breath, he start singing his part while still walking to the front stage.  
  
_"Haha ga kureta nukumori, ookina ai ni tsutsumareta_  
_itsu datte ayunderu_  
_Tomodachi no takusan no yasashisa wa mune ni_  
_Fuzakete wa kenkashite, wakachi au yorokobi"_  
  
Taking the lyrics into hearts, Ryosuke suddenly have the urge to cry. Definitely can't continuing, Ryosuke let Iwase sing the next part by himself.  
  
_"Kazoe kirenai hodo no omoide_  
_Kore kara mo tomo ni egaku no_  
  
_Tatoeba itsuka chigau sekai de_  
_Umare kawatte mo_  
_Bokura wa sore zore, onaji you ni deai_  
_Onaji you ni anata wo aisu deshou_  
  
_Norikoenakya naranai koto mo aru deshou"_  
  
Trying to control his own emotions, Ryosuke takes a few deep breaths before placing the mic once again in front of his mouth.  
  
_"Makenai de (Makenai de) nani ga (Zutto) atte mo_  
_Soba ni iru kara_  
  
_Tatoeba negai ga kanau nara_  
_Kanashimi no namida ga_  
_Mou nidoto anata ni koborenai you ni_  
_Mahou wo kakete kuremasuka ?"_  
  
Here he can see Iwase smiling as he starts to sing along.  
  
_"Anata to tomo ni ikiteru_  
_Suteki na egao de_  
_Mune hatte, te wo tsunaide, yorisotte aruiteku_  
_Sonna mirai wo matteru_  
  
_Kyou mo arigatou"_  
  
Both Iwase and Ryosuke bow their heads down as they finish their songs. And as the melody stopped playing, cheers and hands clapping can be heard erupting from the whole room. Ryosuke steal a glance toward the bride only to catch her crying while staring at Iwase. And another realization hit the boy.  
  
The bride is actually in love with Iwase as well.  
  
Iwase drag him away from the crowd as they can't seem to stop yelling encore to the both of them. Once outside, Iwase bow to the boy while scratching the back of his head.  
  
"Sorry, guess the crowd can't get enough of you." He said awkwardly.  
  
Ryosuke shake his head in disagreement. "It's not me. They loved you because you sang it beautifully right from your heart."  
  
"You think so ?" Iwase laugh at Ryosuke's nod. "Well, I guess they do loved me."  
  
"And Yoshida-san loved you too."  
  
Iwase's laughters stopped in an instant at this statement.  
  
"And she loves you still." Ryosuke continue.  
  
"How could you be so sure ?" Iwase ask nervously.  
  
"Her tears." Seeing the confused reaction coming from the man, Ryosuke start explaining. "She cried when we sang back then. And her tears just flowed down her eyes. Showing us her true emotions. And when I see her tears, I saw her regrets, her pain, her wishes, her love. And so I can tell that she, just like you, regretted her cowardness for not being able to say her true feelings toward you. And I can tell that she, just like you, is suffering from huge pain from it. And I can tell that she, just like you, is wishing that she could turn back time so she could be more honest with you and her own feelings. And so I can tell that she too, just like how you love her, is in love with you."  
  
Ryosuke can only watch as the man before him slump down and the tears he was holding for God knows how long finally flowed down his face.  
  
"I guess, you're right. I guess, I've known this myself as well. But I just couldn't face my own feelings." The man wipes his tears as he stood up. "Anyway, it's not like this is the end of the world. Thank you for telling me Yamada-kun."  
  
"It's nothing really. Being here taught me a lot of things. I should thank you instead." Ryosuke bow his head slightly to hide his blush.  
  
"Eh ? What is that ?" Iwase frown as he tilts his head to the side.  
  
"I've learnt so many things about love here." Ryosuke smile serenely. "As you mentioned before, I indeed having a problem right now. And it's about love. Though the love that I'm talking is not about romance, but I should be grateful that I still have the chance for being loved and still being able to show my love to them who have given me so many."  
  
"And why couldn't you before ?" Asked the man curiously.  
  
"Because I was afraid." Ryosuke look up to see the blue sky above them. "I was afraid that if I'm being to attached to them, I wouldn't be able to let go when my time is up."  
  
Iwase's frown grow deeper at this. "What are you- ?"  
  
Ryosuke shake his head slowly as if telling the man that he doesn't want to talk about this. "Thanks to you, now I know that I should be grateful that I'm still given the chance to love, and to be loved. As for what might happened in the future, I'll just do as you said, to face it like a man." He smiles gratefully at the man in front of him. "Hontou ni arigatou gozaimasu !"  
  
Iwase smile as well. Eventhough Ryosuke refused to talk about it, but he somehow can understand the boy's feelings. "Dou ita. I'm glad that I can at least make you find your answers. Since you helped me quite much there." He ruffles Ryosuke's hair affectionally.  
  
"Anyway, I need to go now Iwase-kun." Ryosuke stand firmly and start fixing himself.  
  
"Where will you go ?" Asked the older man.  
  
Ryosuke smile before answering, "To where my friends are waiting."  
  
Iwase smile back at him before nodding his head. "Go for them then."  
  
"Iwase-kun ?" Ryosuke call out before he leaves.  
  
"Nani ?" Replied Iwase with a frown.  
  
"I believe that fate has something really meaningful ready for you. I believe you will find your happiness somewhen." He smiles before he finally leaves the man behind.  
  
As Ryosuke walk down the road, he can hear voices echoed through the air.  
  
_"Ask, and it shall be given._  
 _Seek, and you shall find._  
 _Knock, and it shall be opened to you."_  
  
Ryosuke smile as the words kept ringing inside his head. And with new-built courage, he walks toward Jimusho confidently.


	14. Fourteenth Chance

"Konnichiwa."  
  
"Yama-chan ! Where have you been ? Don't you know that we were worried sick that you didn't showed up at the said time ? And you didn't answering your phones as well !" Yabu quickly bombarding him with questions the moment Ryosuke entering their dressing room.  
  
"Gomen ne, Yabu-kun." Ryosuke bow down his head, not daring to look into the older boy's eyes.  
  
"You should've at least tell us if you're going to be late or something ! And not making us worried like this !" Yabu continue on with his scoldings.  
  
"Gomen, hontou ni gomen." Ryosuke bow his head more. His eyes filled with tears, but he tries to hold it as hard as he can.  
  
"Maa ne, Yabu. It's okay ne ? At least he's safe here now, right ? No need to scold him more, ne." Takaki try to calm the raging boy down.  
  
"It is not okay, Takaki ! What if something happened to him and none of us know it ? He should've at least message one of us or something !" Yabu now turn and yell at Takaki.  
  
"Hontou ni gomenasai." Ryosuke said softly as he bows deeper. "I know that this is my fault for not telling you anything. But I was just, sick of everything."  
  
"Ha ?"  
  
Ryosuke lift his head slowly. "This was not the only time I came to practice late. This was not the only time I told none of you about where am I going. And this was definitely not my first time coming to practice. But somehow, I felt like a stranger here. People kept fussing over me if I showed up a minute late. My phone won't stop ringing from the constant messages asking me if I'm okay. I'm still the Yamada Ryosuke I used to be. I don't need to be babied all the time. I'm glad that you care for me, but not like this. It's as if I'm a different person now."  
  
None of them said anything after Ryosuke's little speech.  
  
Yuto walks hesitantly toward Ryosuke's spot. "Yama-chan..."  
  
"Yappari." Ryosuke cut him off with a bitter smile. "I think it was wrong for me to decide this. I was just being impulsive after all."  
  
"What are you talking about, Ryosuke ?" Chinen ask nervously.  
  
"Gomenasai. I will just leave the group as it is. I won't troubling you ever again. Shitsureishimasu." Ryosuke bow deeply, and before anyone can react to what he was saying, he had already left the room.  
  
"Did he just stating that he quit JUMP ?" Ryutaro inquire after a few minutes in silence.  
  
As if being slapped back into reality, the rest of them gasp at the realization.  
  
"This is my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at him." Yabu pace nervously around the room. "I, I will go after him." He's about to leave the room when a hand stopped him.  
  
"No, Kota. You better stay here. You're not in your right mind." Hikaru tell him firmly.  
  
"But Hikaru-"  
  
"I will go instead." And without further words, Hikaru grab his bag and rushed out the room.  
  
***  
  
Ryosuke takes a deep breath as he watch the scenery in front of him. He felt really bad after saying those words toward his friends. More over, just after he said that he'll learn to accept them just the way they are.  
  
"But maybe this is the best for us. I can only be a burden for them if I'm continuing this." He smiles sadly as he watches the Sakura petals falling down beautifully.  
  
"But won't it hurt your heart for not being able to do the things you love ?"  
  
Ryosuke was startled at the sudden voice coming from behind him. Turning his body, he catch a sight of Hikaru standing not too far from behind him.  
  
"Hikaru-kun ?"  
  
Hikaru just smile as he walks closer and make a seat beside him. "I know you will be here. You always came here when you were troubled back then. You said that this park always gave you calm, making you feel at ease."  
  
Ryosuke smile slightly before returning his gaze to the view in front of him.  
  
"You know, Kota was just worried. You know him when he's worried." Hikaru try to start the conversation.  
  
"I know he was." Ryosuke agree without turning his gaze to his side.  
  
"Dakara, I think your words back then was a bit harsh. You two were hot-headed back then. I really think you should rethink of things you said, Yama-chan." Hikaru try to persuade the boy.  
  
"I know. I will." Without even changing his tone, Ryosuke said it flatly.  
  
"Yama-chan-"  
  
"I'm tired. I guess I'll just go home. Thanks for the talk Hikaru-kun." Ryosuke stand to his feet. He bows a bit before leaving Hikaru dumbfounded on his place.  
  
"C-chotto Yama-chan !" Hikaru stood up as well to catch the boy.  
  
"Hikaru-kun, I'm okay, really. I just need sometimes to be alone. I will rethink about this later, really. In times, I will. Just, can you just please leave me alone for the time being ?" Ryosuke halt in his steps as he said it in a trembling voice.  
  
"Yama-chan, did, did something happened ?" Hikaru ask quietly, his voice filled with anticipation.  
  
"Nothing !" Ryosuke snapped. "Nothing..."  
  
"Yama-chan." Hikaru walk closer and enveloping the younger boy in an embrace. "You know you can always talk things to me. This is just not you. Please let me share the burden."  
  
At the sincerity of Hikaru's words, Ryosuke finally break down. He hugs the older boy tight as he cries his heart out.  
  
After a while, Hikaru finally manage to calm the boy a bit. He brought him back to sit on the bench and ask the boy to tell him what is wrong. In the end, Ryosuke finally spilled all of his worries. On how he felt suffocated by the too-much care the others were giving him. On how he felt miserable whenever he failed doing things now. On how he sometimes felt that death was just an inch away from him, gnawing at him, mocking him.  
  
"I don't want to die just yet, Hikaru-kun. I still have so many things I want to do. I don't want to die. Not yet." And once again, Ryosuke's tears flow down his face like a river.  
  
And all this while, Hikaru can only rub the boy's back in a soothing way to make him feel at least slightly better. He felt so helpless like this. Just, helpless.


	15. Fifteenth Chance

There is a phrase saying that 'Time flies like a wind'. And truth to be told, sometimes you did not realized how much time has passed as you walk on. And so you sometimes forget, that the time you have to cherish the people you love around you is limited, until it was far too late.  
  
"Okay, that's it. Let's all work hard for our last concert then !" Hikaru raise his fist to the air. "Fight-o !"  
  
"OUH !!" The other 9 members of JUMP followed suit as they are also raising their fists up to the air.  
  
"I'm nervous~" Yuto whine as he paces around the room.  
  
"Oh, come on Yuto. It's the last day already and you're feeling nervous still ?" Teased the college-student Inoo while he tries fixing his hair.  
  
"Don't mind him, Inoo-chan~ Yutti is always nervous for everything~" Chinen chided in.  
  
"Stop it, you two. It's not nice teasing others. Anyway, you'd better get ready soon. The concert is starting." Yabu comes in and lecture the two of them before turning his head toward the teen who had been watching the scene amusedly. "Yama-chan, don't push yourself too hard, okay ?"  
  
Turning his head toward the concerned Mother of JUMP, Ryosuke just grin while giving him a victory smile. "Wakatta yo, Yabumama."  
  
Nodding his head in understanding, Yabu the turned his heels and leading the rest of them out to the stage. After two years being called 'Mama' officially, Yabu had resigned to the reality and accepted that title. Though he could remember ticking a vein every time his name being called for the first few weeks, he had became so used to it now he did not even flinch at the nickname.  
  
Yes, it had been two years since they head the news. It had been two years since they knew about Ryosuke's sickness. It had been two years since their chaotic times. It had been two years, since Sugihara-sensei told them about Ryosuke's timelimit.  
  
Truth to be told, Yabu had been real anxious about this. Sugihara-sensei told him that Ryosuke could only last about two years, three if he's lucky. And the countdown has been nearing it's end. It's only about times 'till Ryosuke d- NO. He shouldn't think that way. He musn't. There's still hope for them -him. And for the time being, he just would make Ryosuke enjoy his times.  
  
Looking at the said boy smiling heartily during the MC of their concert, Yabu couldn't help but make a bitter smile. Almost nothing had changed despite the huge difference on Ryosuke's health. He's still the same old Yamada Ryosuke who would keep on smiling no matter what happened. Ever since they told Johnny-san about Ryosuke's condition and his wish to continue performing, the old man showed them a sad smile before agreeing to the boy's demand. A quite large numbers of dances had been cut for each of their performances so that Ryosuke could still cope up with the routine. The other had been okay with that, stating that they were actually glad they could actually save a lot of energy from this, but Ryosuke seemed distracted with the decision. He had protested to the idea and exclaimed that he still can cope up with the usual routine, though they all know he wouldn't. But after a few convincing words and soem strawberry bribing, they boy had gave up and follow the rules.  
  
Nothing much had happened after that. Ryosuke had cope up well and managed to perform like he used to. Well, not quite the same, but not that big of a difference either. Only some collapses after a very tiring day, but he would recover soon enough and rejoin them again. After some check-ups he had attended with Ryosuke, he had learnt that Ryosuke is doing well with his therapies and medications. It's almost as if there is still a chance for Ryosuke to get cured. Almost.  
  
"KYAAAAAA !!!"  
  
The sudden horrified screams from their fans brought Yabu back from his thoughts. Frantically sweeping his eyes for the source of the chaos, he could feel cold sweats dripping from his forehead when he found it.  
  
"Nooo..." Whispering to himself, Yabu quickly rushed toward the fallen member of JUMP, even passing Chinen who is also running with all his might.  
  
"The staff had called for an ambulance, for the time being, we should move Yama-chan to a more secluded area." Hikaru quickly told him as he finally reached the spot where Ryosuke had suddenly fainted.  
  
"What happened ?" He asked worriedly.  
  
Yabu feels his eyes watered when Hikaru shake his head.  
  
"I don't know, Kota. He just suddenly collapsed like that. I just don't know." Hikaru's shoulder slumped down as he put his eyes on his aching head. "He was just fine a moment ago and he suddenly..."  
  
Putting a hand on Hikaru's shoulder, Yabu quickly giving a gentle squeeze as if to give the younger boy an assurance. "Neither of us expecting this, Hikaru. Let's just, let's just hope Yama-chan will be alright."  
  
"I'm taking Yama-chan to our dressing room."  
  
Both teen quickly turned their heads toward Takaki's direction who is carrying Ryosuke bridal style and is walking quickly to the backstage, followed suit by almost the rest of them who were to worried to even care that they are still in the middle of their concert, leaving Yabu and Hikaru standing still on the stage, with Inoo not too far from them talking with one of the staff.  
  
"We need to make an announcement to the audience. About whether we will continuing our concert or stopping it midway." Inoo quickly whispering to them after he finished talking with the staff, with the said man seen running hurriedly to the backstage. "And judging by the situations, I've talked to the staff that it would be safe for us to stop it. Though about how will we compensate with the audience, I have no idea. Sanada-san is talking this matter to Johnny-san right now. Let's just hope the old man will understand."  
  
"Yeah." Yabu nod in agreement. "I will tell the audience about our decision then."  
  
Grabbing the nearest microphone available, Yabu then proceeded to face the audience with Hikaru and Inoo followed suit and stand on each of his sides. Poking the microphone slightly to found it on, Yabu then clear his throat before giving an explanation to the audience.  
  
"Okyaku ni minna-sama," Yabu paused to clear his throat once again as he found it unexpectedly dry. "We are truly sorry for the inconveniences, but we are afraid that we must stop today's live for a little accident had happened earlier. We would try to compensate for this in the-"  
  
"Kota." Hikaru's call stopped Yabu from continuing as he following Hikaru's hand which is pointing to an elder man standing just behind the curtain.  
  
Yabu then nod his head for a bit, indicating that he had seen the man before turning his head back to the audience. "I'm sorry, there is a sudden urgent call. We will return immediately. Shitsureishimasu."  
  
The three teens then bowing low for a bit before rushing their way to face their Boss.  
  
"Johnny-san." Yabu, followed suit by Hikaru and Inoo quickly bow to the old man standing before them.  
  
"Yabu, Yaotome, Inoo." The said man replying their gestures by nodding his head in acknowledgement. "I have heard about the situation."  
  
"Yes. Johnny-san, we are sorry but I think we cannot-"  
  
"I undestand, Yabu. I do. Do not worry. I'm not that evil of a man. Today's concert shall be halted. It will be re-hold 3 days from today. The audiences don't have to pay for the ticket as the compensations." Explained the old man calmly.  
  
The three teens widen their eyes in surprise, before they bow their heads once again in gratitude. "Hontou ni arigatou gozaimashita !"  
  
"It's okay, really." They looked up to see a tired smile adorning the head of Johnnys Ent.'s face. "Now, you, go and meet your fans. You are all dismissed for the day. The staffs will be taking care of the rest."  
  
Nodding their heads toward their Boss, the three of them then quickly scurrying out of the backstage to inform the audiences about the decision that was just been made. As they made their way outside, they failed to see the smile had faltered the old man's face, replaced by a sober expression.  
  
"Poor kids. I hope everything goes well for them." Sighing deeply, the man then turned away to leave the place.  
  


***

  
"How is Ryosuke doing, Sensei ?"  
  
Hikaru quickly lift his head up at the statement and quickly approach the Yamadas who is currently talking with Sugihara-sensei who was just walked out the emergency room, with Yabu tailing not too far behind him.  
  
"I supposed we talk in my room." Sugihara glanced towards the two teens standing behing the worried parents. "Privately."  
  
Hikaru's body tensed at this. What was it so bad that they couldn't know ?  
  
Yamada Kuniharu turned his head towards the two teens behind him and his wife before facing back the Oncologist in front of them. "No, Sensei. The two of them were like a family. Whatever it is, you could just spill it her now because they will know anyway."  
  
Hikaru watched the Doctor sighed before nodding his head in understanding. "I understand. But still, it would be better if we're talking this in my office."  
  
"O-kay." Agreed Kuniharu before the four of them following the said Doctor to his office.  
  
Once the five of them already settled inside the quite spacey office, Sugihara started browsing through his folders and grab one folder labeled 'Yamada Ryosuke'. Taking his time opening the pink-colored folder, Sugiharu then clear his throat before starting explaining.  
  
"As I have mentioned before two years ago, Ryosuke-kun is suffering from B-Cell Chronic Lymphocytic Leukimia, or CLL for short, and that his ZAP-70 marker is positive. Our test had told us that two years ago, Ryosuke-kun has approximately two or three years left. And as we are all have realized, two years has passed since. I was actually predicting that Ryosuke-kun could survived longer for his condition was always so good these couple of years. But even so, this incident happened. As I did a few checks just now, it is proved that Ryosuke-kun's condition is currently deteriorating." Said the man before he jolted some new informations on Ryosuke's folder.  
  
"Then, does it mean- ?"  
  
"We are still not sure, Yamada-san." Sugihara cut off the woman's question. "But I am afraid, that Ryosuke-kun wouldn't last long anymore. About a month I said. Two if we're lucky."  
  
Yamada Rie immediately broke down at this. Her husband, trying to hold back his tears himself, reaching out to give her comfort by embracing her.  
  
"Then, what should we do, Sensei ?" Kuniharu asked softly, his voice sounded strained.  
  
"Just, be there for him. Give him as many as precious memories you could. Tell him that no matter what happen, you will always love him. So that he won't have any regrets, if his time has come." Said Sugihara, surprisingly, with a strained voice as well.  
  
Kuniharu takes a deep breath as he hugs his wife tighter. "I, I understand. We will try to be strong for him. Thank you very much, Sensei. I, We will leave now." He bows before turning away and leave the room.  
  
"Then, we will take our leave as well, Sensei." Hikaru stand from his seat at Yabu's words and bow down before following Yabu's lead outside.  
  
"The time we dread the most had finally come." Hikaru muttered loud enough for Yabu to hear.  
  
"Yeah." Came the short reply from the older boy.  
  
Hikaru sigh. He knows that Yabu took this harder than he did. The older boy had became so fond of Ryosuke's presence, so this information was quite a blow for him. Not that he did not affected, it's just, it affected Yabu more.  
  
"Kota, I know it's hard for you and all, I mean, it's hard for me too, but I know this is harder for you, but still..." He paused as he release a deep sigh. "Please, be strong, okay ? Be strong for Yama-chan."  
  
Hikaru saw Yabu's face hardened as he shut his eyes tight. After some awkward seconds, the older boy finally nodding his head.  
  
"I know, Hikaru. I know."


	16. Sixteenth Chance

Yabu sigh as he sat still in that white dysinfectant-smelled room. His eyes fixed on the figure sleeping peacefully before him. The steady breathing of him, showing from how his chest moving up and down rhytmically. His lips opened slightly to suck air to his lungs. His hair swaying slowly from the gentle breeze seeping through the slightly opened window.  
  
Subconsciously, Yabu reached out a hand and caress the boy's hair ever so softly. As if trying to lull the already sleeping boy more into the depth of sweet dream. Yabu can tell that the boy is dreaming a sweet dream, if the slight smile tugging on the boy's lips was any clue.  
  
"Yama-chan..."  
  
Without any specific purpose, Yabu called out the boy's name. Yabu doesn't know why but he just suddenly has the urge to call Ryosuke's name. Subconsciously, his hand is already reaching out to touch the boy's soft hair and caressing it with care.  
  
It'd been almost a week since Ryosuke was commited into this hospital. And at about two hours ago, the boy had suffered his eleventh episode since his less than a week stay in this hospital. A proof for his constantly worsened condition. Which kinda freaked Yabu out.  
  
Yabu sigh as he leans back on his chair, palm not moving from Ryosuke's head as it still raking the boy's hair gently. They had finished their halted concert two days ago quite safely. Without Ryosuke, the concert felt less lively, but it had to be done and so they did it still. And Yabu was glad, that it was their last concert too. He knew he wouldn't be able to though it all for more because he was too worried over Ryosuke's condition to care about his performances.  
  
"Ya-bu-kun..."  
  
The raspy call coming from the boy before him brough Yabu back to the real world.  
  
"Ah, gomen gomen. Did I wake you up ?" He asks worriedly.  
  
Ryosuke just smile and shake his head slowly before stretching his hands out. "No. It's okay. It's about time for me to wake up anyway."  
  
Yabu couldn't stop himself from smiling as well seeing the boy stretching like a cat. Pulling his hand away, Yabu chuckle as he saw Ryosuke scratching his eyes childishly. "You're such a kid."  
  
"Mou~" Yabu watch how that pale lips of Ryosuke curled into a pout.  
  
"How are you feeling ?" Asked the older boy as he helps the boy proping the bed up so he could sitting comfortably on his bed.  
  
"I'm good." Ryosuke once again scratching his eyes. "What about yourself ? For as long as I can remember, you were almost always here staying with me. I mean, do you actually eat well ? 'Cause I never saw you doing anything else while you're here." He pouted while crossing his arms in front of his chest.  
  
Yabu just chuckle as he reaches out to ruffle the boy's hair. "Of course, I do eat silly. You have weird imaginations."  
  
"Well, you can't really blame me ! Since I'm just saying things from my point of view !" Ryosuke pout more.  
  
Yabu just laugh at this. "Fine, fine, Yama-chan. You're not wrong, not wrong at all."  
  
***  
  
"Milk, check. Fruits, check. Strawberry shortcake, check. My lunchbox check. Now, Angel Beats Manga, check." Yabu paused as he scans through the stacks of Manga in his right hand. "So Yama-chan like Shoujo Manga like this. No wonder." Smiling to himself, he then proceeded to walk back to the hospital with a pair of headset plugged into his ear as his company.  
  
Humming the familiar melody quietly by himself, Yabu failed to catch a sight of running man in front of him which resulted into them crashing with each other and fell hard to the ground.  
  
"Itte !" Yabu hiss painfully before composing himself and start collecting his fallen things.  
  
"I'm so sorry ! I didn't see you there so I was just like- running through you !" Aplogized the man as he helps Yabu collecting his things.  
  
"It's okay. I was at fault too, for not watching the surrounding carefully." Said Yabu assuringly as he starts standing up with the help of the other man. "Ah, thank y- Eh ?" Finally seeing the other man's face properly, Yabu was surprised to see the man standing before him.  
  
"Eh ?" It seems like the other man was just as surprised to see him.  
  
"Akanishi-kun ? / Yabu-kun ?"  
  
***  
  
"I was surprised ! When did you returned to Japan, senpai ?" Asked Yabu to the older man who insisted to help him carry his things and now accompanying him to the hospital.  
  
"A couple of days ago. I was finally getting my break after the never ending show back in America." Akanishi shrugged as he scratches his head.  
  
"I see. What about it then ? Your jobs I mean." Asked Yabu once again.  
  
"Hmm. They went well, I guess. I was kinda overwhelmed at first, but I'm getting used to it by now. And the guys are nice too. Not that KAT-TUN weren't nice, but, well, you got my points." Akanishi tried to explain messily to the younger man.  
  
Yabu chuckle slightly at this. Really, his senpai would never change. Still the same old stupid childish Akanishi-senpai. "Yes, yes. I got it, senpai."  
  
"Hmm. Anyway, where are we going ?" Asked Akanishi lazily.  
  
"To the hospital." Said Yabu curtly.  
  
"Eh ? Are you visiting a relative ? Won't I be a stranger then ?" Akanishi asked again rather panickedly.  
  
Yabu smile before turning his head to face his senpai. "It's okay, Akanishi-kun. The person we are visiting is someone you also know."  
  
"Eh ? Seriously ?" Asked Akanishi wide-eyed.  
  
Yabu nods as his answer.  
  
"Is he from the agency ?"  
  
Yabu nods once again as his respond.  
  
"Is he from Hey! Say! JUMP ?"  
  
Yabu hesitated at first, but he nods anyway.  
  
"Eh ? Who could possibly- ?"  
  
Yabu smile before walking ahead once again. "You will see soon, senpai. One thing for sure, he's one of your fans."  
  
Yabu could feel the older man staring at him intensely at him from his back. But he decided to ignore it for now. And as the older man finally catch up with him and walking side-by-side with him once again, Yabu found himself at a loss of words and can't bring up any conversation.  
  
And somehow, he's feeling grateful for the older man seemed to understand this and respect his silence by not saying a word, when he's actually a person that can't stop talking.  
  
***  
  
"So it's Yamada-kun ?" Asked Akanishi finally after they have arrived in front of Ryosuke's room.  
  
Yabu smile sadly as he nods his head down. "Yeah."  
  
"Was it- was his disease bad ?" Akanishi inquired hesitatedly.  
  
"Eh ? Why do you think so ?" Yabu frown curiously.  
  
"Because you're feeling so down. I mean, it's not a weird thing to get sick these days. Especially when you're an entertainer. I've been admitted to the hospital sometimes too, and no one is feeing so down 'cause it's not that big of a deal. But it's different with you. The way you've been so silent about this whole matter only lead me to one thing. That whoever this sick member is- which is Yamada-kun I figured- he's dealing with a bad disease." Explained the older man softly.  
  
"I..." Yabu could feel the tears pricking up from the back of his eyes. "I.. You were right. Yama-chan is suffering a bad disease. But I can't tell you about it. I mean, it wasn't my place to say so."  
  
Akanishi smile as he pat the younger's head. "I understand. You don't have to be worried. Well, I know for one that Yamada-kun is a strong boy. Whatever it is, he will get over it. Trust me."  
  
Yabu smile back at this. "I hope you're right." He could see the older man is frowning in confusion but shake his head instead. "Let's just get in."  
  
Opening the door slowly, Yabu lead his company in. There, at the other side of the room, sitting a peaceful-looking Ryosuke who is currently staring still outside the window.  
  
"Yama-chan." Yabu called out softly.  
  
The said boy immediately turned his head toward his caller and smile widely at the sight of his so-called Mama standing there.  
  
"Yabu-kun ! And oh- Akanishi-kun ?!" Ryosuke's eyes widened at Akanishi's presence there. "What- How- ?"  
  
"I met Yabu-kun by accident before, and decided to tagged along." Said Akanihi, answering Ryosuke's unsaid question. "How are you doing, Yamada-kun ?"  
  
Ryosuke then smile after coming out from his surprise. "I'm good, senpai. Thanks for coming by."  
  
"Anyway, here are the Manga you asked." Said Yabu changing the subject as he handed out the stack of manga he brought earlier.  
  
"Yey~ Thanks Yabu-kun ! You're the best !" Ryosuke exclaimed childishly as he hugs the older man and quickly opening the first book from the stacks.  
  
"Now, that's impolite, Yama-chan. You have a guest here and you ignore him to read your Manga ?" Yabu scold him while grabbing the Manga from Ryosuke's lap and put them inside the drawer.  
  
"Ah, you're right. Sorry Akanishi-kun. I rarely have a guest aside from JUMP members and my family. And I guess, I was just being too used to that." Ryosuke scratches the back of his head while smiling sheepishly.  
  
"It's okay, it's okay. Since I'm kinda intruding here anyway. So.." Akanishi shrug as he take a walk and stand in front of the window beside Ryosuke's bed.  
  
"Yama-chan, I need to be out for a while. Sugihara-sensei called me earlier to have a talk." Yabu inform the youngest of them three.  
  
"Oh, it's okay, Yabu-kun. Beside, Akanishi-kun is here to accompany me." Said Ryosuke assuringly.  
  
"Very well then. Akanishi-kun, I'm sorry but if you would please stay with Yama-chan until I return." Yabu then turn his head toward the older man.  
  
"Got it. Don't mind it, Yabu-kun. It's not like I'm not having fun." Akanishi shrug.  
  
"I see. Then, I will leave now. I will come back as soon as possible." And without waiting for their answer, the man had already fled outside the room.  
  
"So, Yabu-kun said that you are my fans, Yamada-kun. Is it true ?" Asked Akanishi after some times.  
  
Ryosuke nodded his head slowly. "Yeah. I love your songs. They soothe me."  
  
"I'm feeling honoured." Akanishi grinned. "Since when did you became my fans ?"  
  
"Well..." Ryosuke seemed like he's thinking something. "I've always admired you since I was a junior. But I've just become your fans since around 2 years ago. It's a long story, but because of some occurances, I come to fell in love with your songs. Whenever I was feeling lonely here, I always listened to your songs like 'Eternal' and 'Care'. They always calmed me down." He smiles brightly toward the older man.  
  
Akanishi frown at Ryosuke's answer. There is something wrong with his words. "Everytime you were feeling lonely here ? So you frequented this place quite often, eh ? You sure need to take care of yourself, Yamada-kun."  
  
Akanishi caught the smaller boy smile sadly at his comment. "Yeah. I hope I could."  
  
"Why of course you could Yamada-kun ! Just make sure you rest well and take a proper medications, and you'll be as good as new !" Akanishi try to encourage the younger boy.  
  
Ryosuke said nothing as he just smile in response.  
  
"Well, uhm, anyway, what was the manga you were just about to read ? From the cover of it, they looked good !" Akanishi try to change the subject awkwardly.  
  
Ryosuke frown a bit as he stares at Akanishi's face intently, completely ignoring the man's question.  
  
"W-what ?" Akanishi asked nervously at the stare the younger is giving him, but still got nothing in response.  
  
After some awkward moments, Ryosuke finally turned his head away and sigh before leaning back on his pillow.  
  
"Just ask it, Akanishi-kun." Ryosuke said boldly.  
  
"E-eh ? W-what are you talking about, Yamada-kun ?" Stuttered Akanishi.  
  
"I know what you wanted to know. So just ask it." Ryosuke repeat himself.  
  
"I don't- "  
  
"About my sickness. I know you wanted to know about it." Cutted Ryosuke.  
  
Akanishi was sent silent for a moment. His hands findling with the hem of his shirt in nervousness. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pry, but I-"  
  
"It's okay, Akanishi-kun. I understand." Ryosuke smile softly.  
  
"I'm still, sorry." Mumbles Akanishi quietly.  
  
Ryosuke just smile as he look past Akanishi's figure and outside the window. His face soften as he watches the clouds moving slowly up in the sky.  
  
"The truth is, I'm suffering from Leukimia, Akanishi-kun. And the Doctor said that I don't have much time left." Ryosuke said as he closes his eyes slowly. His expression so serene that it makes Akanishi smile despite the shocking news. "I'm dying now."


	17. Seventeenth Chance

"Hikaru, no breakfast ?"  
  
Hikaru turn his head toward his calling Mother from inside the kitchen. "No, Mom. Sorry. But I received some emergency just now." He said rather hurriedly. "Bye, Mom."  
  
Hikaru's mother could only sigh at her son's departure. "I hope Yamada-kun is okay." She mumbles to herself, already knowing that the boy could be the only reason why Hikaru was behaving that way.  
  
On the other hand, Hikaru is already half-running to the main street. As soon as he got there, he quickly halt the first taxi available and tell the driver to rush over to the hospital. He couldn't careless right now. Not after what Ryosuke's parents just informed him through a mail just now.  
  
"Yama-chan..." He whispers worriedly as the car is speeding it's way to where Ryosuke, and presumably the rest of JUMP's members, are.  
  
***  
  
"How is he ?" Hikaru quickly asked as soon as he arrived outside the room where Ryosuke is currently being tended in, not really choosing someone in particular to asnwer his question.  
  
"It's bad. He suddenly had a seizure for no reasons. Sugihara-sensei is looking at him right now, so he should be fine soon." Apparently, it was Keito who answered his question.  
  
Hikaru sweeped his eyes frantically around the crowded hall and landed his eyes on one lanky fugire slumping on the corner. From the look of it, this figure is on the verge of crying already. Hikaru sigh before he slowly make his way to the said figure. But it seems that someone is beating him on doing so.  
  
"Yuto !" Every eyes immediately focused on the sudden yell erupted from none other that their so-called Mama. "What happened ? You were the one who was with Yama-chan when this happened right ? Tell me what happened ?" Yabu seemed frustated with the way he put both of his hands on Yuto's shoulders and demanding for an answer.  
  
Hikaru sigh oncee again before continuing his way to the two boys. "Kota, stop it ! Yuto was still shocked from what had happened and you just went about to point a finger at him ! Get a grip, will you ?" Hikaru hissed as he pulls Yabu's hands away from Yuto's shoulders.  
  
Hikaru watched as Yabu's head slumped. "I know. I- I'm sorry."  
  
"Why don't you go and cool your head down for a bit ? It's not good to be hot-headed now." Suggested Hikaru which is answered with a nod before the oldest member of JUMP walked away sluggishly to where the restroom is.  
  
"I'll go with him. You take care of Yuto here." Inoo pops out before he follows Yabu away.  
  
"Yeah." Hikaru whispers quietly before turning his face toward the now more desperate-looking boy. "Hey, Yuto, let's take a walk. Yama-chan's treatment usually takes sometimes so we still have times to roam around the hospital. What do you think ?"  
  
Hikaru is met with a soundless nod from the said boy who didn't even bothered to look at him.  
  
"Okay then. Let's go." Hikaru literally have to drag the boy to make him move from his spot and headed toward the cafetaria. As soon as he got there, he quickly scanned through the menu available. "Hey, are you hungry ? Do you want to have something ?"  
  
A shake of head was offered as his answer as the boy standing beside him still said no words whatsoever.  
  
"O-kay." Hikaru then turn to face the cafeteria lady. "I'll have the usual Baa-chan and 2 hot chocolates please."  
  
"Right away, Yaotome-san." The cafeteria lady smile, as she get the usual Bento package Hikaru always bought there. "Here they are." The lady give his orders before Hkaru pay his purchases and walk toward the nearest table.  
  
"Here, Yuto. A hot chocolate could always warm you up." He gives one of the chocolate cup to Yuto's hand and wait as the boy nodded his head and take a sip from his drink before digging into his food.  
  
"Thanks, Hikaru-kun." Yuto said rather lifelessly.  
  
Hikaru sigh at the sight. It is rare to see the usually loud boy become so silent like this. However, the incident that had happened must have been a great shock for the boy, so Hikaru wasn't surprised to see the sudden change of behaviour.  
  
"Look, I understand how you are feeling, Yuto, but it wasn't your fault, okay ? It's not something that we did not expected. So just, relax. There's no one to blame here." Hikaru try to console the boy sat before him.  
  
Yuto slowly shake his head. "No, Hikaru-kun. It was my fault. When Yama-chan showed a sign of abnormality, I just shrugged it off. And when he was started to have a seizure, I was too stunned to do anything. If only I was quick on doing something when the sign start showing up. If only I was fast enough to call for help when Yama-chan started seizing. Then maybe his condition wouldn't be so bad right now !" Yuto's voice sounded strained as he finally poured down his emotions into droplets of tears which are wetting his face now.  
  
"Yuto..." Hikaru call out hesitantly. "I, I understand. Trust me, I do. You were just too surprised to be able to do anything, and that is perfectly normal. So, no one is blaming you here. So stop blaming yourself, Yuto."  
  
"But, Yabu-kun..."  
  
"Kota was just being emotional, and you know that." Hikaru interrupt him. "I won't stop you from weeping, but I want you to stop blaming yourself over this, okay ?" When he does not receive an answer, Hikaru try once again. "Yuto ? You will do it, right ? You surely know that Yama-chan won't like it if you keep on blaming yourself over this."  
  
After a few more hiccupping, Yuto finally wipe the tears away from his face and nod at Hikaru. "I-Okay. I will."  
  
Hikaru smile at this. "Good. Now finish your chocolate and let's return to the others. I believe it's about time until we get to see our Yama-chan again."  
  
"Hai." Yuto smile before gulping down the rest of his chocolote as Hikaru finished his meal before the two of them return to where the other members are.  
  
***  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"You're not going ?"  
  
"No. Not yet."  
  
"You know, you look like a living corpse already. You should go outside and get some fresh air."  
  
"I will, later."  
  
"It'd been 5 days already, for Goodness' sake, Kota ! And you barely left this room ! If we didn't persuaded you, you wouldn't even left to grab some meals !"  
  
"I know."  
  
"*sigh* Look, Kota, I know you are worried. But this is not the way. We're all worried, but it's not like there's much for us to do except to wait."  
  
"..."  
  
"Kota..."  
  
"He's in a comatose, Hikaru. Can you believe it ?"  
  
"Wha- no, of course it's not easy to believe it."  
  
"I see. I wonder why this happened though."  
  
"Everyone does. But whether you believed it or not, it happened. And it's out of our reach to control. Let's just- Let's just hope that Yama-chan will be okay."  
  
"... Yeah, you're right."  
  
"So, you're going now ? I'll stay here for you."  
  
"I will, but later."  
  
"Kota !"  
  
"I know, I know ! Just, just give me 5 minutes, okay ? I will leave afterward."  
  
"Once you leave, you make sure to take care of yourself properly. Clean your zombified body, and fill your stomach with real food."  
  
"Alright, alright."  
  
"Oh, and I have Takaki waiting outside just in case."  
  
"Takaki ?"  
  
"Yeah. He said he hates the smell of this room, that's why he didn't come in. But we both know him, he's just a scaredy-cat."  
  
"Hahaha.. You're right."  
  
"Of course I do. Now go. Your 5 minutes are over."


	18. Eighteenth Chance

The sound of machine beeping and the soft humming of Air Conditioner is the first thing Ryosuke sensed when he struggles to open his eyes. And then, a gentle squeeze on his palm signaling him that he's not the only person inside the quiet room.  
  
"Ryosuke..."  
  
"Kaa...chan..." Ryosuke said in between his breath, his voice hoarse from the lack of use.  
  
"Shh.. It's okay, baby. I'll call the Doctor for you." Ryosuke watched as his Mother's hand reaching out to push the red button on top of the headboard. "I'm glad you come around, Ryosuke."  
  
"Where is- where is Dad ? And the others ?" Asked the boy, still trying to adjust his voice.  
  
"Your Dad is out for food. Your sisters are home. As for your friends, I believe they're in their work now." Yamada Rie smile as she caress her son's hair lovingly. "They must be glad as well now that you've awoken."  
  
Ryosuke smile back at his Mother. "Uhm, Kaa-chan ?"  
  
"Yes, son ?" His Mother inquired without stopping her hand's movement.  
  
"I..."  
  
"Shitsureishimasu."  
  
The Yamadas watch as Sugihara-sensei walked into the room with a nurse in his tail. A smile adorned his lips as the Doctor met Ryosuke's eyes.  
  
"I see you've awoken, Ryosuke-kun ? Shall I do some check-up then ?" The middle-aged man said as he slowly approach the boy.  
  
"Hai." Ryosuke said softly as he let the Doctor examines his body.  
  
"Hmm.. Your vitals looked fine for me, Ryosuke-kun. But you were to stay in the HCU* for a couple of days before we transfer you to a private room." Sugihara-sensei tell Ryosuke as he jolts some notes on Ryosuke's file.  
  
"We understand, sensei. Thank you very much." Yamada Rie bows at the Doctor.  
  
Sugihara-sensei smile softly. "It's my pleasure." He then slowly turn his face toward Ryosuke's figure. "Ryosuke-kun, don't be discouraged by this, okay ? Keep fighting."  
  
Ryosuke just smile without giving a vocal agreement to the man. And this seemed to disturb the man as his face twisted for a bit, before he recomposes himself.  
  
"Very well, I shall leave then. I'll tell the kitchen to bring some soft food for Ryosuke-kun later." The Oncologist bows before signaling the nurse to follow him outside.  
  
"Kaa-chan..." Ryosuke call out when Sugihara-sensei's figure is out of sight already.  
  
"Yes, baby ?"  
  
"Can I ask you a favour ?" Ryosuke ask his Mother hesitately.  
  
"Yes ?"  
  
"Please ask Johnny-san to come here." Said Ryosuke without looking at his Mother's eyes.  
  
Yamada Rie frowned. "What for, darling ?"  
  
"You, you'll know. Just please, call him for me."  
  
***  
  
"Are you sure about this boy ?"  
  
Ryosuke smile as he cast his sight at the old man figure sitting beside his bed. "Yes, I am, sir."  
  
The old man sigh. "You know, I personally doesn't like the idea, but if this is what you're wishing, then I'll do as you said."  
  
"I'm sorry for having you doing this kind of things, but this is for the best. I'm not good at saying goodbye, so..."  
  
"You don't have to say goodbye, Yamada-kun." The old man commented.  
  
"But I have to." Ryosuke commented back. "We both know that my time is quickly running out. And I can't leave without giving my gratitudes toward those whom I love and have been loving me. So this will be the only way."  
  
Johnny-san could only stare at the boy lying before his eyes. There are so many things the man wanted to tell him, too many things he doesn't know where to start.  
  
"I wish we had more times where we could talk like this. But we couldn't possibly turn back the times now, could we ?" The man chuckle. "Yamada-kun, you're a strong person. Strong, and shining. I knew it since the first time I've met you. That's why I dared to put a bet that you'll be a star. And I was never wrong in this. Your strength never failed to bring those losing their hopes back on their feet. And your light never failed to make the others shine brighter. You're a one true star. There are many stars out there who were blinded by their own light until they lost their way, but you didn't. You would always be you no matter what happen. And that is what makes you special."  
  
Ryosuke smile. It's rare to have the old man praising you like this. His words give a warm wave into his heart, but at the same time saddened him. "Thank you, Johnny-san, for everything. Without you, I wouldn't be able to meet such amazing people I've got to know."  
  
Johnny-san shake his head. "No, son. It's my thanks for you. Without you, I might be stayed as the same old me. Some selfish old man who always wanted things to go his way. You might not realized it, but you changed me." The man smile. "If I can say, I might be the luckiest Producer in this Earth to have you under my wings."  
  
For a moment, neither men say anything to each other. Both were too engrossed in their own little sanctuary of silence to bother anything else.  
  
"I think, it's almost time for my leave." Johnny-san stood from his seat before securely putting the small device he was holding all this time inside his bag.  
  
Ryosuke nod at this. "Please, Johnny-san, to do as I said with 'it'."  
  
"I will. Just leave it to me." The man reach out to ruffle Ryosuke's hair.  
  
"Thank you so much. Your help means a lot to me." Ryosuke smile softly.  
  
The man smile back. "I wish you all the best my son." And with that, he left.


	19. Nineteenth Chance

Yabu slumped on the cold tiled-floor. He closes his eyes as a deep sigh released from his lips.  
  
"Kota..."  
  
Just that simple call from his bestfriend, is enough to make the tears he had been holding all these times to roll down his cheeks. His emotions that he'd kept for the past few days flew down alongside with his tears. He felt a hand rested on his shoulder, but making no sign of recognition for it.  
  
"Kota..." He could hear the other boy sigh before he feels the other shuffling around as he seated beside the crying boy.  
  
"This is so unfair.." Yabu wails quietly. His hands pulling on his hair in desperation.  
  
"I know." The other boy commented sadly. "I thought so as well. But we all knew, that life is never fair."  
  
Both boys fell into silence right after Hikaru said those words. And somehow, Yabu is glad that the other boy is not trying to stop him from crying and just sit there silently to accompany him.  
  
The sound of the door creaking is the thing that broke their silence.  
  
"Dai-chan ? What's up ?" Hikaru stand from his position and approach the boy standing by the doorway.  
  
"Johnny-san ask us to meet him on his office now. He said there's something he wants us to know." Daiki said with a quiet and hoarse voice. No wonder, since this would be the first time since he last spoke anything for the past few days.  
  
"About Yama-chan ?" Hikaru asked curiously.  
  
Daiki nodded slowly. "Yamada's parents are here too, so I think it must have been about him."  
  
Hikaru turned his head towards Yabu's direction, who gave him a slight nod, before facing Daiki again and give him a nod. "I understand. We'll go there in a minute."  
  
Daiki then leaving the two boys behind as he rushed over to where he came from. After Daiki's back is out of sight already, Hikaru then walk back to where Yabu is.  
  
"Kota ?"  
  
The called boy stand, as he wipes the remnants of tears on his face, before walking ahead out of the room.  
  
"Let's go."  
  
***  
  
"Misaki ! Obento !"  
  
The called girl halted in her tracks before she turns back and grab the lunch box her mother offered sheepishly.  
  
"You're so young, yet you're so forgetful Misaki." Teased the older Yamada's daughter.  
  
"Like you're any better ! I often saw you purposedly ditching your house chores to have a date with your boyfriend~" Misaki sing-sang.  
  
"Misaki !" Chihiro shot her a deadly glare.  
  
"Misaki ! Stop teasing your sister and go before it's getting too late ! And Chihiro ! We'll have a nice talk about this !" Yamada Rie scold her two girls before the fight becomes too far.  
  
At this statement, both girls quickly stop their glaring-competition and quickly departed to their own space.  
  
"Sore jya, ittekimasu." Misaki said softly before fleeing out the door while Chihiro sit back at her chair and continuing her breakfast.  
  
The woman sigh before she trudges her way to the living room to tidy it up. Much to her surprise, she saw her husband inside the room already, seemingly making the room more messy than before.  
  
"Dear ? What are you doing ?" She asks carefully.  
  
She saw her husband jolt before turning his body to face her.  
  
"Ah ! Kaa-san ! Nothing, nothing. I was just looking at our old photobook, that's it."  
  
Yamada Rie smile before walking toward him and sit beside him. "Care to show me what you were looking ?"  
  
The man return her smile before half-shoving the photobook into her lap. "Just our old's picture."  
  
"Hmm.." The woman hummed before turning the photobook's page one-by-one.  
  
"Look ! This is when Ryosuke was born ! I could still remember the day he came to our arms. And Chihiro was getting super hyper because we got her a little brother." Yamada Kuniharu explained excitedly. "And this is when Chihiro first tried to carry him. Remember how nervous she was ? She was too scared that she might drop the baby." And so, the man had started to commented on each photo they saw.  
  
"And-"  
  
"That was when Misaki was born."  
  
Both parents turn their heads to see Chihiro already hovering over them with a grin on her face.  
  
"I remembered arguing with Ryo-chan about who got to carry her first." Her eyes softened at the remembrance.  
  
"Sou. And I remembered scolding you both despite being weak after the delivery." Yamada Rie added.  
  
"I then scolded you from being rash after your delivery even when you supposed to rest." Added the man.  
  
Chihiro chuckled. "And in the end, the nurse scolded us from being noisy inside the hospital."  
  
The three Yamadas laugh at the memory. After their laughters died down, the three of them then continuing their previous task of browsing through the photobook. While once in a while, making comments concerning the event being captured by the lense.  
  
"Ah ! This is when Ryosuke debuted with Hey! Say! JUMP ! I still could see him jumping around the house, begging for attention for his achievement." Yamada Rie smile softly while touching the picture shown before them tenderly.  
  
"And then we had to bring him for a celebration in his favourite restaurant because he wouldn't stop whining about us ignoring him all day." Yamada Kuniharu chuckled.  
  
Chihiro lean back on her position. "But it was worth it, right ? He looked so happy back then."  
  
For a moment, the three of them stay still without saying a thing. As if the family was trying to savour the moment they are having. That is, until a choked sob was heard from outside the room.  
  
Yamada Rie frown, before she approaches the source of the voice, only to find her youngest daughter crawled on the floor, crying silently.  
  
"Misaki ?! What are you doing here ? Didn't you leave already ?" She exclaimed worriedly.  
  
In a few seconds, the rest of the family is surrounding the youngest girl already, who hiccupped as if she was trying hard to suppress her cries.  
  
"I f-forgot- hic- m-my h-homework- hic- and t-then I o-overheard- hic- y-your con-conversation- hic-" Stuttered the girl.  
  
"Oh, dear." Yamada Rie quickly hug her daughter lovingly. "Then why are you crying ?"  
  
Misaki clutched on her mother's arms tight at this. "I-I- hic- m-miss Ni-Nii-chan..."  
  
The oldest woman in the house found her breath hitched before hugging her daughter tighter. "Oh, Misaki. I know, dear, I know. I miss him too."  
  
Chihiro kneel down beside the two women, before joining their group hug as well. "Nee-chan miss our Ryo-chan as well, Misaki." She said with a strained voice, before looking up to see their father's solemn face.  
  
"We all do, my dear, we all do." Said Yamada Kuniharu as he sigh and look up to stare at the ceiling. "We all do."  
  
 _"Kaa-chan, Tou-chan, Chihiro-nee, Misaki, I can't show you, how much I love you all dearly. You are the best family anyone could get. Though you're weird at times. A fierce-faced yet kind-hearted Father. A caring yet scary Mother. A noisy yet understanding older sister. A cute yet spoiled little sister. *chuckles* I just, I just want you all to be happy, no matter what happen. And I just want you to know, that wherever we are, you will always be a part of me, and I will always be a part of you, always be within you, for as long as you want me to be. Kaa-chan, don't hesitate to scold my sisters if they misbehaved, for that would be a good lesson for them to be a better person, eventhough you looked so scary when you're mad. Tou-chan, please relax more, would you ? Or else Chihiro-nee and Misaki's boyfriends would be afraid to meet you. Chihiro-nee, stop skipping doing your housechores to laze around, you'll be a wife soon, and what would your future husband said if you lazed around all day ? Misaki, don't forget to feed our pets like you often did, okay ? It would be so sad if they became sick because of that. *sigh* I just, I want you to know that I appreciated your sacrifices for me all these times, as I know that I've been nothing but a nuisance for you lately. And I, I'm sorry, that I couldn't lived up to your expectations. I... I love you all... so much..."_


	20. Twentieth Chance

"How are you feeling son ?"  
  
Keito smile as he straightening himself once again. "I'm all good, Dad."  
  
A sad smile escaped the older Okamoto as he helps his son packing his things. "Tomorrow is a new day. I know that past could haunt your every nights, but you have to learn to overcome it, Keito."  
  
"I know, Dad. I'm doing it." Keito said softly. His hand slowly grazing the picture frame on top of his bedside drawer. "Let's go, Dad. Or else we'll miss our plane."  
  
The older Okamoto just smile. "Alright then. I think it's a good thing that we took this vacation, don't you think so ?"  
  
Keito nod.  
  
"But it's weird as well. I mean, people usually take a vacation when Christmas and New Year is approaching. While we decided to go home at a time like this." Continued Okamoto Kenichi.  
  
"It can't be helped, since it's work calling." Commented Keito half-jokingly.  
  
"Yeah, yeah.. Beside, I personally encouraged you to stay with your friends at a time like this. Especially after, you know, all these things." Added the older Okamoto.  
  
"Yeah. I know." Keito smile softly as he once again looking at the picture on the wooden frame that he had been holding since a while.  
  
 _"Keito, you're not good with words, but I knew that you're a kind-hearted gentleman. As expected from someone who grew up in England. *chuckles* But I mean it, seriously. You just have to loosen up a bit, and you'll be perfect~ Uwah~ I can see you in the future already~ I hope that I can see it for real... But well, eventhough I can't, I know you will be a wonderful gentleman... Just, have more faith on yourself, okay ? I trust you that you can be whoever you wanted to be if you would just have faith..."_  
  
***  
  
 _"Inoo-chan... It was always fun to be with you. I mean, looking at you and how you acted, no one would believe that you're the smartest boy among us... But even if you're such a fool, sometimes you could be a dependable and serious person as well. I guess those are the things that would come naturally as we turned into an adult... *chuckles* I wonder if I would ever be a wonderful adult like that... *sighs* You know, I admire you... And I will always do... And therefore, I want you to always be you, because you're shining the most when you do..."_  
  
"Inoo-chan ?!"  
  
The called boy jumped slightly from his spot before turning his gaze to his disturber.  
  
"What is it, Ryutaro ?" He half-snapped at the sliightly taller boy before him.  
  
"I said, you're walking the wrong way ! Our Jimusho is over there." Inoo followed the boy's finger, which is indeed showing the opposite direction of where they supposed to go.  
  
"Oh, right. I think I was too deep in a thought that I missed our turn." He stated coolly, trying to looked not so embarassing in front of the youngest member of the group.  
  
"More like you were day-dreaming..." Ryutaro commented dryly. "Geez, I was shouting your names for who knows how much !"  
  
Inoo whacked the other boy's head. "Stop exaggerating, Ryutaro."  
  
"Fine, fine." Ryutaro pouted, as the two of them heading to the right direction this time.  
  
No one says anything until they arrived in front of the Jimusho building. Looking at each other in understanding, both boys sighed before walking in the building they have yet to see in a while.  
  
"It'd been long since we last come here." Inoo said softly. "How long has it been ?"  
  
"About 2 months I suppose." Ryutaro sighed. "To tell you the truth, I can't really see the future of Hey! Say! JUMP."  
  
Inoo smile. A genuine smile this time. Not like those fake ones he always had for the past weeks. "Nevertheless, we have to keep walking forward. And stop looking to our backs."  
  
"Yeah." Ryutaro agreed. "After all, that was what _he_ wanted right ?"  
  
Inoo just smile as he continue on walking to their practice room. Taking a deep breath, Inoo knows that the boy behind him is thinking the same thing now.  
  
 _"Ryutaro, you're almost an adult, so stop being a brat and looking for troubles with anyone.. But I think I'm not one to say, since I always fought with you.. *chuckles* But seriously, you should stop acting like that already, since you have younger siblings and should be responsible for them. I know it's hard, but you must learn to share and to give in to the others. We won't always have what we wanted, you know. And I knew it very well, since I've learnt it the hard way... Ryutaro, just, just know.. that despite all of our fights, I value you as an important friend, that I will keep close..."_  
  
***  
  
"Here you are, Sir."  
  
Takaki whack the man's head lightly before taking the plastic bag he offered. "Stop being so formal, Naru, we've been friends since we were a toddlers."  
  
The man called Naru just laugh lightly. "You're still a customer here, you know, so it's only natural for me to be polite."  
  
"Yeah, yeah." Takaki roll his eyes as he pick one rice ball from inside the plastic bag before stuffing it inside his mouth.  
  
"Anyway, where are you going ?"  
  
"Hm ? Practice." Answered Takaki hastily.  
  
"Oh." Naru nodded in understanding. "So you guys decided to start anew, eh ? It's about time, I think. I mean, I know you guys were sad, but being in a saddened moment all the times won't do you any good, right ?"  
  
"Yeah." Takaki drifted his gaze to the blue sky. "But on top of that, we all believed, that this is what _he_ wanted."  
  
Naru just stare at his friend sadly.  
  
"I think _he_ 's proud of us. Well, it sounded silly, but, for some weird reason, I can still see _him_ whenever I stare at the sky. It's as if, _he_ 's there, watching us." Takaki the smile sheepishly as he scratches the back of his head. "Silly, aren't I ?"  
  
Naru just shake his head slowly. "No, Yuya, it wasn't silly at all." The man then put a hand on Takaki's shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I believe that you are right. Because you know, someone would always lives on, as long as there are people who remember."  
  
Takaki just smile at his friend. A soft gentle smile, as his mind drifted back to that moment.  
  
 _"Yuya~ You wanna know what ? You're someone that I will always admire. For your very presence is such a unique entity that will make our days colourful. You see, you looked like a dependable young adult at times, looking all serious and all. But at other times, you could be very childish that people won't be surprised if you said that you're still 5.. *chuckles* But I think, that part of you is something that I longed to see from you everytime I see you, or it brought different colour in my life. And that is why, no matter what happen, I want you to always be a bundle of childish young adult that would always make people smile.. Promise me ?"_  
  
"I will try my best, to be who I am, just like what _you_ had wanted..."  
  
***  
  
 _"Dai-chan, you're one of the bestest friend I ever had. Though you don't look like one, but you are absolutely dependable. And it made me comfortable when I'm around you. For some reason, I feel like I could tell you everything and anything. But you see, eventhough your mind is one of an adult's, physically you don't look like one.. Do you know that people are calling you sleepy-head penguin ? That's because you could still sleep even when the world is shaking, and because you're short ! *chuckles* Well, I don't really mind actually.. Because you're great the way you are now. And you should know it as well..."_  
  
"I'm so tireeeeeeed !"  
  
Daiki almost jumped at the sudden weight plopped down on his lap, effectively snatching him back from his reverie.  
  
"Chinen ! You're heavy ! Get off !" The slightly taller boy is trying to push the squirrel off of his lap but to no avail.  
  
"But Dai-chan's lap is choo comfortable~" Chinen whine childishly.  
  
"But that doesn't change the fact that you're heavy !" Daiki retorted.  
  
"Mou~ Dai-chan is a meanie~" Chinen pouted, but make no move to get off from the older boy's lap. "You know, I'm actually doing you a favour here." Said the boy, suddenly serious out of nowhere.  
  
"Eh ?" The sudden change of tone had immediately distracted Daiki's purpose of getting the smaller boy off of him. "What do you mean ?"  
  
"I was just trying to grab your attention you know ? So that you would stop pondering over the past." Chinen said in a quiet voice with his head hung low.  
  
"Chinen..."  
  
The smaller boy just take a deep breath before standing up from his previous position. "But I think I was just trying too hard... Because I know it myself, that it wouldn't be so easy to just forget everything and move forward. Because no matter what, that past will always be a part of us."  
  
Daiki sighed as he too stand from his seat. "But you've tried. And that's what's important. But still, I don't think that forgetting is a good thing here."  
  
"What do you mean ?" Asked Chinen curiously.  
  
"Because..." Daiki started to walk off. "It would be unfair for _him_ if we decided to forget our bonds with _him_ , just because it's too painful to remember..."  
  
"Dai-chan..." Chinen bite his lower lip, eyes shining with unshed tears. "I know..."  
  
 _"Chinen, I know this will be hard for you, but I also know that you're far stronger and more mature than anyone thought. You will accept this eventually, I know for sure. And when you finally do, I want you to understand, that eventhough I don't want this to happen, this is fate, which neither of us could avoid. And though this doesn't seemed so, this is for the best. You always acted so spoiled around me, and I kinda like it. It's as if I have a younger brother. You know, I think I will miss your spoiled act. *laughs* But then again, I think it would be a good remembrance for us in the future, a great memories to remember..."_  
  
***  
  
Yuto sigh as his head leaned in and make contact with the cold glass of vending machine before him. Today had been a hectic and tiring day. Well, he's not surprised since it'd been a while since they last worked out their bodies. Well, Yuto might be one with a lot of energy in store, but that doesn't mean that he's tiredless.  
  
His hand lazily put the coins to the slot and move to push the button of his drink of choice. A hot green tea would be wonderful for his dry throat. But before his finger reach it's goal, he halted himself at one particular familiar button.  
  
A hot coffee-milk.  
  
Unconsciously, he pressed the button and wait until the sound of clanking could be heard. Taking the canned-drink his finger slowly tracing down the material in his grip. Chuckling slightly, Yuto finally opened the can and gulp down the drink. His lips pouted at the bitter-sweet taste produced from the drink.  
  
"I wonder why _he_ liked this one so much ?" He mumbles quietly to himself before gulping down the rest of the liquid down to his throat. "But _he_ was always so excited everytime _he_ asked me to treated _him_ the drink. Well, everyone has different taste I suppose."  
  
He sighed once again before continuing his way home. Once in a while, he would turn his head to his right and left, just to stare at the view shown before him. A small smile formed on his lips as he continued forward. Mumbling a catchy and familiar song, Yuto looked up for a while and stare at the moving clouds.  
  
"It's a beautiful night." He whispers to himself.  
  
"Look ! That star is so beautiful !"  
  
Yuto quickly turned his head at the source of voice. And suddenly, his feature softened, though traces of sadness could be seen now on his eyes. There, a pair of boys standing not so far from him, hand-in-hand. One is tall and slim, while the other is shorter and a little bit chubby. The taller one is currently pointing at something far above, eyes glinting with excitement. While the shorter one is gaping in amusement while his sparkling eyes following the taller boy's finger.  
  
"It's so pretty..." Whispers the shorter one.  
  
"I know, right ?"  
  
Yuto couldn't hear the two boys' conversation anymore since they're now walking away from their previous spot. But from where he stands, he could clearly see the two chatting and smiling innocently, as if they have no burdens whatsoever in this world.  
  
Suddenly, Yuto feels a prickling sensation behind his eyes. Hastily, he wipes his eyes and takes a few deep breath.  
  
"No, I have to stop crying over this !" He said determinedly. But even so, the stubborn tears kept on flowing down his face against his will. "Stupid ! Stop crying, Yuto ! What will _he_ said to you if _he_ sees you like this !" But the silent cries slowly turned into a quiet wail as he crouches down on the street, not even minding what the passerbys will think about him.  
  
"Stupid tears ! Stupid stupid stupid tears !" Yuto hugs himself tighter before letting himself pouring down. Until suddenly, he felt something soft wetting his body. Looking up from his position, Yuto gasped at the white snows pouring down the Earth. Weird, since just a few seconds ago the sky was so clear despite it being in middle of December.  
  
"I see, so _you_ want me to stop crying, eh ?" Yuto chuckles in between his sobs. "Trust me, I tried. But it's harder than it seems you know. It's just, hard."  
  
 _"Yuto-kun, I know that for the past few years, we're not as close as we used to. But you know, you will always have a special spot within my heart. For you are the very first person, that showed me the importance of friendship. Before you appeared in my life, I always found it hard to trust people aside from my families. But then you came, and changed me. I, I am very thankful for you. Because without you, I would not be the Yamada Ryosuke people got to knew. And, I'm sorry too. I never meant to hurt you in anyway. I think, it's just that life was getting in the way and it blocked us, me, from any rational thoughts. And it made us getting separated from each other. But I'm glad, that in the end, we could overcame it and be like we used to be. Though it was short, I am very thankful for our moments together... Forever, you would be someone I looked up to."_  
  
***  
  
 _"Hikaru-kun, I, I don't know what to say, really. But, I- I'm thankful for you. You have been a wonderful 'Papa' for these past couple of years. And I couldn't ask for more.. *chuckles* But well, you see, though on the outside you're this goofy happy-go-lucky joker, but I knew it better, that deep inside, you're one passionate, full of determination young adult. And I admire you for that. Really.. There's not much that I could say to you, but somehow I know, that even without words, you will still be able to understand me..."_  
  
"Kota !"  
  
The called boy quickly turned his head his way and Hikaru just grin widely as he skips toward the boy before glomping the taller yet skinnier boy.  
  
"What is it, Hikaru ?" Yabu asked with annoyed tone.  
  
"Don't be such a kill-joy ! I just wanted to ask you whether you're ready for tomorrow's show or not~" Hikaru pout childishly.  
  
Yabu sighed before he resuming his way outside the building. "To be honest, no, I'm not ready."  
  
Hikaru tensed slightly at the sad tone the older is using. But before he managed to say anything, Yabu had already beat him to it.  
  
"But, we have to be ready no matter what, aren't we ?"  
  
Hikaru stares at his bestfriend's face for a while, and he couldn't helped but smile as well, seeing the older boy showing a genuine smile, which is a rare show.  
  
"I agree. Beside, I don't think that by staying still will do us any good now. It's the best for us to keep on looking forward, instead of looking back." Hikaru release a deep breath. "And to top it all, _he_ must have been disappointed in us if we kept on being all gloomy."  
  
Yabu smile as he nods curtly. "Yeah. _He_ must have wanted us to keep on doing our best in everything."  
  
 _"Yabu-kun... I think, out of the other members, you're the one that I owed the most. Even so, you never once asked anything in return from me. Although I know that I've been difficult and always asked things from you, but you didn't even once make a complaint. And I am very grateful for that. Yabu-kun, you're a very important friend for me.. I know this will be hard for you, and I know that I'm being selfish now, but if I could ask you one last favour, I wanted you to overcome this and always be a good 'Mama' for JUMP. I believe, that the rest of the members could feel your sincere love toward them, just like I always felt... Thank you, very much. I love you, I love you all."_  
  
***  
  
"Dear all audiences, before the show ended, we just wanted to tell you, that we are extremely grateful for your patience toward us." Yabu said softly toward the mass of people lining up before them. On his sides, he could feel his friends are giving him encouraging looks, so he takes one deep breath before continuing his speech.  
  
"We know that we had been irresponsible toward you all, but we could not denied that those were our hardest time as a group, as a family." Yabu closes his eyes as fragments of memories suddenly flows through his mind, and naturally, tears had started to gather around his eyes. He tries to take some deep breaths to calm himself down, but failed to get rid of those nagging feeling which clutched his heart tight.  
  
"But then again, we've realized, that sitting still won't change anything." To everyone's surprise, it was Yuto who continue Yabu's little speech. "And so we decided, that we will stop abandoning our life and keep walking ahead."  
  
As if having a silent understanding, Daiki nod and pick his microphone up. "For this is what we all needed. What we all wanted. And most importantly, what _he_ had wanted us to do."  
  
"And thus, we are all standing here now. In our so-called come-back mini-concert. In purpose continue what we had left of, what _he_ had left of." Keito added on, a gentle smile framing his face.  
  
Takaki sniffles as he stares at the audiences with teary-eyes. "We are fully understand, that from now on, things won't be the same anymore. But even so, we will make that differences into new strength."  
  
"And so we will try our best, to live our life to the utmost fullest, so that we won't have any regret behind." Ryutaro said gently.  
  
"And though it's selfish of us, we wish that you could understand our situation, and together, let's try our best." Inoo commented determinedly.  
  
Chinen, who is usually cool-headed and never shedded a tear in front of the fans, now have his tears flowing openly from his eyes. "And let's live to _his_ expectations. Let's keep on smiling whenever we are faced with difficult situation. Because _he_ too, always smiled, no matter how hard the situation was."  
  
" _He_ always loved everything _he_ did. And I guess, that was _his_ secret of success. Not just in work, but in life as well. And that's what make _him_ special." Hikaru sighed. " _He_ 's like our inspiration now. No, _he_ was always be our inspiration, it's just, that we only realized that recently. A little bit too late, but we're still grateful for that."  
  
Hikaru then put a hand on Yabu's shoulder, giving it a squeeze as a silent encouragement for him to continue. In return, Yabu grasp his friend's hand and hold it tight.  
  
"And so, we're here now, to show you all, and to show the world, how much _he_ meant to us." Closing his eyes once more, Yabu can feel himself smiling. "Yamada Ryosuke, this last song is dedicated for _you_. I know it's not enough, but this is our only way to tell _you_ , how much _you_ meant to us. Just like _your_ messages that time, I hope that this song will reach _you_. Because as _you_ once said, no matter where we might be, as long as our heart is still connected, we will always be close."  
  
"And so, everyone, please listen to our last song. This is not one of Hey! Say! JUMP's song, but this is the best song that reflect our current feeling. This is the song from one of Yamada's favourite singer, but one that _he_ has yet to hear. And for this purpose, we hope that you will sing with us, so that this song will reach _him_." Hikaru said sadly.  
  
"Here is our last song. Akanishi Jin's Seasons."


End file.
